The Jas Says. . .

First of all, I just want to say THANK GOD for the Akismet plugin. My spam comments used to consist of wonderful compliments such as “Great post! I’d never thought of it that way before!” and then the spammy part would be the link to their V!@gra page or something. And while I still do get those comments, the Old School Spambots have lately been coming out in force. You know – the ones who paste in three paragraphs of “Jane Eyre” and then 26 links at the bottom? Yeah. Those ones. Akismet catches all of this crap so all I have to do is click “Empty Spam” and that’s the extent of my dealing with it. If you’re running a WP blog and don’t have this plugin, well, I just don’t know what to say to you.

Secondly, I am now considered full term on this pregnancy, which I guess means I could “go” at any time. Watch out, she’s gonna blow! My hospital bag is 90% packed. The things that aren’t in there are the things that I use every day, like deodorant. And sweat pants. I only have three sets of sweat pants; I can’t just take one out of rotation and put it in a bag! I’ve got a few things packed up for Asher, but his packing list is small because the hospital has assured me that they will provide for almost his every need while we are there. The Man’s bag is not packed at all, because I need something to do in the early stages of labor, right? He has a pretty small list as well, so that should take us all of 10 minutes to throw together.

I’ve gotten the bassinet cleaned and set up, all tucked in with sheets and the baby monitor (we have a sound and motion monitor, so there is a sensor pad that has to go under the mattress). The bottom shelf of the bassinet is stocked with a diaper basket, receiving blankets, burp cloths, and pacifiers (which, now that I think of it, still need to be sterilized). His clothes are washed and sitting in a tote in the spare room, along with all of his other stuff.

And, the reason all of his stuff is still in the spare room is because his room is still not done. It’s not our fault. We ordered windows. They took three weeks to arrive, and then they were the wrong size. And not the wrong size, oh we can jimmy it and make it work. These were the wrong size, we need to cut some bricks out of our house. Needless to say, we had to have our supplier order new ones. They will be here in ANOTHER three weeks. After that, The Man and his merry band of helpers can finish the drywall and I can paint, and we can decide what’s going on with the floor, and then maybe we can put the kid in his own room. This is just ONE of the reasons I hope to make it all the way to my due date.

On the personal front, I’m pretty physically uncomfortable. I don’t sleep well. I sleep from about midnight to 3:00 AM, when I get up to use the bathroom. After that, I toss and turn, and catch an hour here and there until around 8:00 AM. Then I get up and lay around the house because I am still tired. My ankles are swollen and so are my hands. I can’t really fit into my shoes. Small things (like getting dressed) cause me to lose my breath. And – this may be TMI, but oh well – my boobs are getting more boobtastic by the day. Before this pregnancy, I wore a B cup. I’m now straining to maintain the integrity of a DD. If I didn’t have this enormous belly to take the focus off, I’d be awfully self-conscious.

Things that I worry about:

• The cats. Isn’t that precious? Some people have to worry about introducing a new baby to actual human siblings who might have not great reactions. I’m worried about ruining the lives of two elderly felines. They sleep for 22 hours a day. I’m not sure what’s going to be “ruined” about that, but you can’t tell my brain anything. It imagines the worst possible scenarios and then takes those scenarios and puts them in the Most Likely To Happen category.
• My ability to deal. Not “will I be a good mother?” or “will I let my child down?” but literally “will I be able to deal with this?” I don’t really worry about being a good mother, mostly because at the early stages ‘being a good mother’ equates to making sure the baby doesn’t starve and is clean and fed. I can be that mother. Right now, I’m more worried that I will not be OK mentally with all of these changes.
• Never sleeping again. I don’t sleep well now. I understand that will not change and will actually get worse once the baby is here. That’s not something I’m looking forward to.
• I won’t be able to breastfeed. I want to. I hope I can. I’m scared I won’t be able to.

OK, here’s a picture of me at 36 weeks. The Man took this one. I’ve been trying to get him used to my camera so I have some chance of having a few pictures of the boy with me in them, too.

Dear Episcopal Relief and Development:

Is it terrible that today when I received your e-mail, subject line “The Meaning of Our Faith”, I immediately filled in “…is apparently sending daily spam e-mails and weekly newsletters begging for money”?

Look, I get it. Things are bad in lots of countries right now, and not bad in that American “I can no longer afford my home and must downsize to an apartment” way, but rather the “I have to drink the water from that puddle over there, and it is cholera-laden, but it’s either that or die of dehydration” way. I do understand that. That’s why, every Lent, we send you guys money. It’s not a ton of money, because while we are not as bad off as some Americans right now, we still don’t have a ton of money, but it’s money. And you repay us by putting on the e-mail and letter campaign the entire rest of the year.

I know the need doesn’t diminish just because it’s not Easter time. I know that people in Africa still need goats, or malaria nets, or clean water, or school lunches, or any of the other massively amazing things that you guys help provide. It’s just that…the rest of the year, we kind of need to keep our focus on the problems in our own backyard. There are soup kitchens to be stocked and children to be clothed and old people who need toilet paper. There are homeless people who come to the church four days a week to get one meal. Easter is yours; the rest of the year belongs to them.

Stop sending me guilt trips about “The Meaning of Our Faith”. I’m doing the best I can. My yearly contribution of ducks and bee keeping supplies will be sent as usual around Easter. In the meantime, my money is going to canned food.

Sincerely,
Jas

(And yes, I did the much more practical thing of unsubscribing from the e-mail mailing list as well.)

When it comes to moisturizing options, I prefer body oil over lotion. It just seems more efficient to me: get out of shower, slather on oil, dry off, all done! It absorbs better than lotion and I don’t have a greasy feeling. Sometimes, I make my own, sometimes (like lately) if I’m lazy, I’ll buy it and try different kinds.

What strikes me is that on just about every commercial version I buy, the instructions are some variation of: “Smooth onto damp skin after bathing, and then pat dry with towel or allow skin to dry naturally“. Allow skin to dry naturally? Do you know anyone who does this? NO ONE does this. But every single body oil has to recommend it. Can you even imagine someone standing there, post-shower, dripping on the mat for 15-20 minutes, staring vacantly into space, just waiting patiently for nature to take its course and the miracle of evaporation to occur? No, you cannot. Because you are a normal person, and you have Things To Do. Do you know the last time I dried “naturally”? When I was a child, in summer, fresh out of the pool, tear-assing around the yard. That’s what kids do: they get out of the pool and launch right into a game of Tag or something. They’re dry in two minutes. I don’t really have the option of greasing myself up and then running around the house (or God forbid, the yard) in order to more efficiently “dry naturally”. So, I shall pat myself dry with a towel, always wondering if I’m missing out on the nirvana of skin moisturizing by not taking the natural route.

For the record: Neutrogena Body Oil (Light Sesame Formula) is WAY too light for me. I don’t think it did anything – my skin still feels pretty dry. However, if you are someone who doesn’t need much in the way of moisturizing, give it a go.

I’m trying to remember what I’ve done since I last updated. I guess that’s kind of the point of keeping a regular blog, but as you can see, I fail in that as well.

Well, first of all, the boy is doing fine. I had a checkup last week and his heart rate was right where it should be. I have a growth check after Christmas, so I’ll get to find out if he’s still on track to average size or if he’s working his way into behemoth territory. We also started childbirth classes. The first one was kind of ho-hum, not a lot of new info covered. The second was more interesting, since the instructor was talking about pain management techniques and fetal monitoring. Hey, those scalp clip things are not so awesome, huh? Also, I really could have done without the play by play breakdown of how an epidural needle goes in, but I know they want us to be aware of what’s involved in all this stuff. It’s not their fault that I wanted to throw up. Our third class was canceled, so this week is our fourth. We have one more after that, which is when we’ll tour the birthing center and see where all the magic happens. I still need to register for Infant CPR and breastfeeding classes, but for some reason they won’t let me do that until after New Year’s. The boy’s room is slowly moving along. It’s insulated now, and the windows have been ordered and should be here by January 6. The Man is bringing home drywall in batches, so pretty soon there might actually be a ceiling and some walls in there.

I got 99% of my Christmas shopping done, and the Christmas cards got sent out, too. So, that’s our holiday cheer in the bag. We are not going north to Dr. Mom’s this year. I’m too pregnant for that long of a trip. Instead, we’ve decided to treat ourselves to a little overnight trip in a town about an hour away from us. We found a package that includes dinner and breakfast. It will be our last trip as a childless married couple. Freaky to think about it that way!

We’ve done two Christmas gatherings so far – one at Mom and Stepdad’s house and one at The Man’s stepdad’s house. Both were totally fun, although everyone wants me to sit down all the time. Mom especially cannot take me standing up. She wants me to sit! Sit down! Here’s a chair, why don’t you sit? This chair is more comfortable, why don’t you move? It’s cute, but I have to keep telling her that if I’m standing up, it’s probably because my back is killing me. The Man’s brother Lucky graduated university last week, and we went to the ceremony. You know what that means – bleachers. Halfway through I had to stand up (we were all the way in the back, so I wasn’t blocking anyone’s view). I got quite the sympathetic look from the woman at the end of our row. She knew EXACTLY what the problem was.

Destiny the Brain Damaged Cat had a small episode on November 30. No one is really sure what caused it. She was being chased by her sister, and then just lost the use of her back legs. She was on the floor yowling for about 3 minutes while I tried to keep her calm. After that, she was able to get up and move around, and she seemed fine. I took her to the vet anyway. They did some tests and determined that it wasn’t her heart, at least. That was the big fear – some kind of heart arrhythmia that left untreated could cause her to die whenever she got a little too excited. They wanted us to keep doing tests on other organs (of course), but since the cat was acting totally normally, and it was an isolated incident, we declined to do that. There have been no repeats since. The worst part of the whole experience was that they drugged her up to do the EKG, and for a good part of two days she seemed to not know where she was or who we were. Then I guess all the drugs left her system and she was A-OK. She’s sleeping on the couch next to me now, as usual.

That’s really it. It’s been quiet, which I enjoy. I have some crafts I really need to finish – some stuff for the boy and one thing for my sister’s birthday present. With that in mind, I need to get off the computer. But first, here are some pictures.

31 weeks pregnant.

Our Christmas card picture.

Our Christmas tree.

The boy's room, wired and ready for insulation.

The boy's room, all insulated and ready for drywall.

I had an appointment today, and a growth check ultrasound. Asher is doing great – 3.5 pounds. The doctor said he is on track to be a “middle of the road” baby in terms of weight. That’s just fine with me. I don’t need a bruiser!

The other thing we discussed is my birth plan. I printed out the “Birth Plan Checklist” from BabyCenter and brought in a filled out copy for my chart. We went over it with the doctor and she reassured me that everything I asked for they either do by default or could be accomplished unless something went off the rails during the birth. Obviously, my main goal is to deliver a healthy baby. The birth plan is the ideal scenario. I wasn’t a Bridezilla and I don’t intend to be a Momzilla. I hope to roll with the punches like a trooper, but if everything goes to plan, here is the outline of our birth plan and the doctor’s comments:

• The only people allowed in the labor room will be The Man and our parents. The only person allowed in delivery will be The Man. (Doc says: no problem, but depending on what’s happening, you may be limited to your husband and two other people at a time, so the parents may need to take shifts).
• I’d like to be able to take pictures during labor/delivery.
• I’d like the option of returning home if I’m not in active labor.
• I’d like my partner to stay with me at all times.
• I’d like a heparin or saline lock.
• I’d like to be able to eat and drink normally and walk about as I choose. (Obviously, the epidural is going to interfere with this once I get it, but prior to that I don’t want to be on unnecessary restrictions.)
• I want to progress free of stringent time limits and have my labor augmented only if necessary.
• I want an epidural.
• I’d prefer to give birth without an episiotomy.
• I want to breastfeed as soon as possible.
• We will be donating cord blood to a public bank. (Doc says: Remember to bring your kit and TAKE IT OUT OF YOUR BAG. I forgot to take mine out! All that prep work was wasted.)
• I want all newborn procedures to take place in my presence, my partner to be with the baby at all times if I can’t be, a cot for my partner, and a private room. I also want 24 hour rooming-in with the baby. (Doc says: All this is done by default. We do kangaroo care for every baby, which means after the birth we don’t test, we don’t bathe, all we do is place the baby right on your bare chest for at least an hour. Skin-to-skin is very important to us. You’ll also have a cot for your husband no matter what, because since we do rooming-in, we know you’re going to need help.)
• I want to breastfeed exclusively. Don’t offer my baby formula or a pacifier.