Aug 24 2010

Danish Festival 2010

Published by Jas under Friends,Stupidity,Work

So…Mackers and I went to Danish Festival this year. Not for the beer tents, or the aebleskivers, but because we had signed up and paid cash money to be vendors. Yes, it’s true, we paid money to sit under a canopy for eight hours a day and try to sell things to people who have no money. Because, did you know? People in Michigan are POOR.

All in all, it didn’t go too badly. We both made back what we paid for the booth, and then some. It just didn’t go as SUPER MEGA AWESOME as we wanted it to, and to be honest, I think we would have sold just as much at a small craft show. So, that’s what we’ve decided to do from now on: small craft shows where the booth fees are reasonable and we don’t have to bring a tent and sit outside.

One of the hazards of sitting outside is the weather. Sure, no one wants it to rain, but when it’s bright and sunny it’s really no picnic either. You have some shade while the sun is in the right position, but at some point in the day, you’re going to fry. We got lucky in that it didn’t really rain until the end of the last day, when we were packing up. And then it also didn’t rain. Or, I should say, it didn’t just rain. It downpoured. Torrentially. Luckily, we had all of the product in weatherproof plastic totes by the time the rain hit, but we still had to pack the truck in the downpour. All three of us (Princess Precocious, Macker’s daughter, was there to help) were soaked to the skin within 45 seconds.

We had too much stuff to make one trip back to Macker’s house, so it was decided that Princess P. and I would take one load, drop everything in the glassed-in front porch, and come back to take down the tent, load up the rest, and pick up Mackers. That plan should have gone off without a hitch, except that as I was getting out of the truck to help Princess P. unload, I locked the doors. With my purse and phone inside. And the truck was running.

I now had no phone. Princess P. had no phone. Mackers doesn’t have a land line in her house. I tried to jimmy the lock with a wire hanger, and though I could get through the window and TOUCH the lock button, there wasn’t enough leverage to push the button. After 20 minutes of trying, I sent Princess P. on her bike (it’s STILL downpouring at this point) to her friend’s to use her phone – to call Mackers and tell her what was going on, and have her call AAA. Ten minutes later, Princess P. pulls back in. Her friend was not home. The retired cop next door is not home. No one is home; they’re all at the beer tent or trying to buy a kringle before the kringle guy goes home. So, Princess P. volunteers to bike herself back uptown (in the driving rain) to update her mom. While she’s gone, I keep working at the lock, I guess hoping that some helpful leprechaun will materialize inside the truck and push the unlock button for me. Several sometimes later, Princess P. returns with the keys to her mom’s car. As soon as she pulls in the driveway, it stops raining. NICE TIMING, WEATHER.

We leave the locked truck running in the driveway and take off in Macker’s car to pick her up. We cram the last bit of stuff in the car, shove Princess P. in the back seat, and I drive back to the house while Mackers walks, for reasons best known to her. I volunteered to cram her into the car as well, but she said walking was a better option. I think she wanted the extra time to curse my name and my lack of brain. Not that I can blame her for that. She also promises to call AAA on the way back and send them over.

We get back to the house, and the truck is still in the driveway, running. No leprechaun. I go back to work on the lock, but after about five minutes, I hear someone holler “Hey, need help?” from across the street. I look up, and there’s a dude in a tow truck, who is coming over. He says, “Cord called and said his sister needed some help.” Cord is Macker’s brother, and as I found out later, called his buddy after AAA refused to deal with Mackers.

This friendly cuss had my door open in five minutes flat. “My hero!” I cheered. Pretty soon, Mackers came walking up, and seemed very happy that the door was open and I wouldn’t be sitting in her driveway for a few hours while we found someone to open the lock. However, at this point, I was ready to go back to my mom’s house and dry off. I was done with rain, being wet, stupid vehicles that don’t have leprechauns inside of them, and my own stupidity. I stayed to wrap up a few more details (like counting money and singing “Prince Ali Ababwa” to Princess P.) and then I went to mom’s, took a shower, and collapsed.

No more Danish Festival. Unless it’s for the beer tents.

 

No responses yet

Aug 03 2010

Hainted!

Published by Jas under Snippets,Stupidity

Our garage is detached. In order to get power out there, somebody ran a pipe from our basement underground out to the garage to hold the wiring. It’s fine at holding wires, and it’s also kind of a conductor of sound. This only matters on the several nights a year that I happen to do laundry on D&D night. THEN I get to stand paralyzed with fear for several or many seconds, in the basement, at night, trying to figure out where the crazy, tiny voices are coming from.

You’d think one experience like this would be freaky enough for me to remember (and let me tell you, the first time when I finally figured out the tiny voices were coming from the garage – well, I guess I never knew what true relief was until the night I didn’t have to confront the quietly screaming poltergeist that lived in my cistern) – but no. Every time it happens, I get to spend some time all freaked out and panicky. It sure does make laundry time more exciting.

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Jul 12 2010

There is no segue.

Published by Jas under Snippets,The Man

Me:  I love you.

The Man:  I love you, too; that was never in doubt.  I smell like mustard.

(There is also no point, other than I thought this was hilarious).

One response so far

Jul 01 2010

The difference between us, encapsulated.

Published by Jas under The Man

Me:  Why is this blanket in the middle of the floor?

The Man:  Well, when I was done with it, there were people on the couch, so I couldn’t put it there.

Me:  So you dropped it on the floor.

The Man:  Well, yeah.

Me:  *folds up blanket and puts it back on the blanket rack*

One response so far

Jun 23 2010

Protected: Left out.

Published by Jas under Infertility

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