Archive for the 'Snippets' Category

Apr 21 2013

Goodbye house.

I get really attached to material things and places. There are several houses I’ve lived in that I probably would buy and live in again, except then I’d have to leave my own home, where we’ve been making a lot of memories. It’s one of those can’t win situations – if I go back to one of my other homes, then this home becomes one of those places that I miss and long to re-posses.

Today, we said good-bye to Grandma’s house. It will go to a new family on Wednesday. We stopped over to look it over one last time. The rooms were all empty. The garage still had Grandma’s car in it, but Grandpa’s work bench was stripped and bare. I wandered through the rooms, and went upstairs to the two rooms that had, at different times, been my bedrooms. I touched the walls and whispered good-bye to the house.  I asked it not to forget me and to be good to the people who were coming next.

It was not the way I wanted to spend my 35th birthday, closing that chapter of my life, but we don’t get to choose our times and seasons.

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Jul 27 2012

Did you know this blog is wicked?

If ever I feel like maybe I don’t have anything interesting to say, and that no one likes me, all I have to do is open up my comments spam and let the loving words of the spambots reassure me that yes, I am awesome and helpful. I do get the normal just walls of text advertising male enhancements or fake passports, but mixed in with all of them are marvelous complimentary spams such as:

“Hey sweetie from a young womanfan contunue the wicked blog”
“salutations from across the world. excellent blog I must return for more.” (Yes. YOU MUST.)
“I adored your helpful words. excellent stuff. I hope you produce more. I will carry on watching” (Knowing this is a spam bot, the ‘I will carry on watching’ line is a little scary. Will this spambot evolve into an all-seeing AI, as featured in the craptastic movie “Eagle Eye”?)
“Very interesting info!Perfect just what I was searching for!”

Tonight, I’m solo parenting The Boy, because The Man is out watching “The Dark Knight Rises”. Solo parenting at night is easy, because The Boy has started wanting to go to bed at 8 PM, and he generally sleeps until between 3:30 AM and 5:00 AM. That’s when it gets tricky, because sometimes he doesn’t want to go back to sleep. It’s hard to communicate “This is not play time, this is sleep time!” to a 5 1/2 month old. He doesn’t care that it’s 4:45 AM, a truly ungodly hour that I would prefer not to meet in a concious state.

My dad was just up for a visit, and he stayed here for a few nights, which he’s never done before. The Boy took to him really well, and vice versa. They are buddies.

I really should try to sleep. I’m not looking forward to tomorrow. We have to be three places, and they are not places that are close to each other. I hope The Boy is up for this, because if he’s not, it’s really going to suck.

(On a side note, I made these brownies tonight. They are currently setting up in the fridge. I really hope they live up to the hype. I mean, if you call something “Crack Brownies”, they better be amazing).

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Jun 28 2012

Truth in advertising

Published by under Snippets,The Man

The Man: We should get one of those two-seater bicycles with a baby seat on the back.

Me: Or, we could just buy a huge flag to wave around that says “We Are Dorks”.

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Oct 20 2011

The things you overhear….

Published by under Pregnancy,Snippets

I’m sitting in the waiting room at my OB’s office. To my right is a man and pregnant woman sharing a couch. I’m not paying much attention to them, other than to note that the guy is a bit of a complainer. However, I soon get treated to overhearing this gem:

Man: You know that song that kids sing? When they’re teasing each other?
Woman: Huh?
Man: When they like each other? You know, “Mike and Lisa, sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.”
Woman: Yeah?
Man: I wonder how colored people sing that song.
Woman: Shut up.
Man: No, really. ‘Cause they talk different. “Kih-in. Kid-den.*giggles* How would they say kissing? Kitten.”
Woman: Shut up.
Man: Why?
Woman: You’re being stupid.
Man: I’m thinking. Don’t you ever think about stuff?

Yeah, that guy, he’s a real brain trust. Don’t bother him, he’s THINKING.

In baby news, 24 weeks tomorrow, developing normally, placenta has moved so previa is no longer a concern. Asher continues his perfect record of having his arm up over his face during ultrasound. This time, he also got his LEGS in the game, prompting the sonographer to comment, “He’s flexible.” My nurse practitioner liked Asher’s name so much that is going to put it on her “cool names” list, which if I understood her correctly, she recites to her daughters in the hopes that one of them will like a name so much that they will get pregnant again just so they can use it. This is a new-to-me method of fishing for grandchildren. Good luck, lady!

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Sep 14 2011

Is that a compliment?

Published by under Pregnancy,Snippets

I went to the Motherhood Maternity outlet yesterday because I only had one pair of maternity jeans (graciously purchased for my by one of my sisters-in-law), and I need at least two wearable pairs of jeans in order to function. I walked in the door, and I was the only one in the store, except for the sales person, who was a woman. This sales person immediately came over to me and launched into a monologue about the store, the clothes, the styles, the fits, the features, etc. I literally could not get a word in other than “Yes” or “No”. Eventually, she asked what I was looking for and I told her I needed a pair of jeans. Then she asked what my pre-pregnancy size was. When I told her, she gave me a VERY obvious once over and asked in disbelief “Really?” I must have given her quite a look, because she qualified, “You don’t look like you should be in that big of a size.” I kept my mouth shut, but what I really wanted to say was “Honey, just because I have a waist doesn’t mean I don’t also have a big, fat ass” and then sticking it out and making various white people shout.

As a side note, I tried on four pairs of jeans at Motherhood. Two were WAY too long. There were at least four inches of material tucked under my feet, and they were the “regular” length. One was EIGHTY DOLLARS. I mean to say, Good Lord. Lucky for me, the last pair was dark rinse, boot cut, and maybe only an inch too long. Also, reasonably priced. I guess the lesson is, make sure you try on your maternity pants, because they are not all formed or priced the same.

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