Archive for April, 2003

Apr 29 2003

Jas writes: First Day of School -OR- How I Met Mackers

Published by under Friends,Jas Writes

Here’s a new thing — anytime that I am going to write a story or something that is not a “normal” entry the title will be prefaced with “Jas Writes:”. . . I had been thinking of signing up another d-x account called jaswrites, but for now I think I’d rather keep all my stuff in one place.

This is something I wrote tonight just because I was thinking about high school.

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Sometimes she wonders what will happen next. She’s always believed that if she can’t imagine a thing happening, then it won’t actually happen. If she can’t imagine something that her mother tells her is inevitable — like turning 40, or going to a new school, or having a child as horrible as she was — than the likelihood is that she will actually die before any of those things take place. She’s only 16 and doesn’t want to die, but she doesn’t want to go to a new school either. Nevertheless, here she is, registering for school on a sticky day in summertime.

She hates this town. She hates her parents for taking her here, and she hates her job as a girl-of-all-work at a farm. Her “all work” includes running errands, entering field journals into a computer, and driving three-quarter ton pickup trucks to other farm towns to retrieve large boxes of anhydrous ammonia, which she is technically not supposed to handle, because it’s a dangerous chemical and she hasn’t been properly trained. But she doesn’t care. Chemical running is her favorite part of this job because she gets to drive big trucks.

But right now she is not picking up chemicals and enduring the leering gazes of the chemical sellers. She is standing in a much larger school than she is used to and forging her mother’s signature on registration forms, because her mom couldn’t leave work.

She knows that school here will be no fun. She plans on remaining blissfully anonymous, which she figures should be easy to do in such a large school. She reassures herself that she only has two years to go before she can escape her heartless parents and this stupid town and go back home to the small community where she was raised and where she knows everyone and everyone knows her.

It doesn’t occur to her that only two years ago, when she was a freshman, she hated high school in her idyllic hometown. She was much abused as a freshman, falling instantly afoul of one of the notorious “tough” girls and her group of “tough” friends. Freshman year was mostly spent going home in tears because a group of mean girls had called her a whore again. She didn’t understand why they were calling her a whore. She was still a virgin and had never competed with these girls for any boy. She had never even spoken to the ringleader, a muscular looking girl who had apparently taken an instant dislike to her. All she could do was keep her head down and blush furiously when the girls taunted her. She knew that she could not fight, and these girls would not hesitate to knock her down if she gave them the slightest provocation. So she endured it, and luckily the next year the ringleader got pregnant and dropped out, and one of the other mean girls moved away. She wasn’t taunted anymore after that, and settled down to be a happy sophomore.

She finishes forging her mother’s signature on the last form, picks up her class schedule, and wanders around her soon-to-be high school. It’s clean and large. She finds all of her classrooms easily, and thanks any deities that might be listening that she doesn’t have to endure Physical Education on top of a new school. She still hates this place and her parents, but she is comforted in the knowledge that she will probably be dead before the term begins, because there is absolutely no way that she will be sitting in an American History class at 8:00 AM on August 28.

Strangely enough, August 28 comes and she is not dead yet. She exits the car and slowly walks up to the school, turning to shoot her mother one last resentful look. She trudges into American History and steels herself for the inevitable. Sure enough — as soon as the locals hear a new name, they all turn and stare. She doesn’t look at any of them because she hates them all. She sits and endures, and finally the class is over and she is off to her next embarrassing roll-call in Chemistry.

The Chemistry lab has large tables instead of desks, and each table seats three students. She sits on the end seat, and soon is joined by two other girls — the brunette carelessly flops into the seat next to her, turns to her, smiles and says “Hey, you want to smell my shirt? It smells really good — like my boyfriend’s cologne.”

Sometimes she wonders what will happen next.

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Apr 29 2003

Adult Jas: Rating – average

Published by under Introspection

Then and Now. . . A Brief “Jas in Review” in Honor of the Anniversary of Her Ladyship’s Birth. . . a bit late but still relevant. . .

I am not exactly mild-mannered, but I am by far less fiery-tempered that in days of yore (heh, I said yore).

I do not go out a lot. I do not drink a lot.

I do not participate in street theatre anymore, which I kind of miss. Mackers and I used to get a kick out of doing our own very dumbed-down version of street theatre, which I guess you could call “mall theatre”, since it mostly consisted of trying to shock strangers in the mall. We failed pretty horribly, I think.

I don’t do drugs anymore either, thank the lord. Although “I don’t do drug anymore” is a more accurate statement and “I don’t smoke pot anymore” is more accurate yet. I am not exactly proud that I ever manufactured a pot-pipe out of an innocent soda can.

I don’t dance anymore. I used to get great enjoyment of dancing alone in my house when no one was home (this was when I still lived with my parental units).

On the other hand. . .

I used to be in imminent danger of making an ass of myself at all times. This was because I craved attention and affirmation, and was willing to go way too far in terms of being a dumbass just to get someone to notice me. Now I tend only to make an ass of myself when I’m drinking, and hey. . . that’s what everyone does when they are drinking.

I am much more content with my life. I can say this with relative confidence because I used to be in the habit of falling into fairly regular depressions.

I don’t care what the general population thinks of me anymore! The only people who have the capacity to hurt me are my loved ones. Strangers who try to insult me are likely to be met by incredulous giggling.

I am on speaking terms with all of my parents and recognize that they are only people, and they all deserve a medal or something for putting up with me. Especially my mom. Yo. She had it rough.

Hmmm. . . “Lady Jas” has a nice ring to it. Oh, to be a member of the aristocracy so I could hear people saying things to me like “I’m honoured to meet you, My Lady.”

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Apr 29 2003

When you least expect it

Published by under Friends

Today I clicked a link from the d-x forums and found myself at the journal of someone who I used to be familiar with. We were on the same, rather close-knit, group of mailing lists. From her journal I followed links to others with whom I used to talk and exchange information, but with whom I have lost touch. It was kind of a strange ramble down memory lane, but nice too. Anyways, it just struck me as odd that I haven’t really heard from or thought about this person in a year or more, and suddenly I was reading about her life again.

I went to town yesterday while The Man was gaming, and on the way back home I stopped at Vic’s to see what she was up to. We ended up going for dinner and hanging out for awhile, just cruising around enjoying the warm weather. I’m so happy that it finally decided to warm up. Soon I will be able to plant flowers and have a little bit of color in the lawn again.

I really didn’t get a lot done this weekend. Usually I at least try to get all of the laundry done but I didn’t even accomplish that. Mostly I sat around and slept in, once again throwing off my sleep schedule completely. Which made it really fun to get up this morning after 4 hours of sleep. I’m one of those people who doesn’t function at top form without at least 8 hours a night. . . so now I am feeling rather fuzzy to say the least.

I wonder how everyone is doing. . . Vicki asked after the Miller Boys last night and I couldn’t really tell her much. I told her that mostly I only talk to The Eldest anymore. . . and I really have no idea what’s going on with the other two. Then there’s a whole other group of people that I have lost touch with. Mostly, I’m going to have to say this is my fault. I mean, it’s not that hard to send an e-mail, and yet I don’t do it. I guess it’s because I generally don’t even think about e-mailing until it occurs to me that I haven’t talked to these people in a long time. . . until then I just go about my day-to-day.

Anyways, I’m tired and cranky, I don’t feel very well and I’m not looking forward to a whole day of work. You’d think I’d remember how I get when I screw up my sleep schedule but alas, I have yet to learn.

Oh — I got new makeup this weekend. It always makes me happy when I get new makeup. I’m such a girl!

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Apr 26 2003

Hell Yeah!

Published by under Snippets

Thank you for using Ticketmaster.
You have ordered 2 tickets to: Fleetwood Mac
Van Andel Arena, Grand Rapids, MI
Sat, Jun 14, 2003. 8 PM

Floor seats to Fleetwood Mac.
I think I am going to throw up I’m so excited.

Thanks to The Man who DIDN’T throw up when he heard the cost, but rather just gave me the credit card number because he loves me.

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Apr 26 2003

It’s a Friday Five, because I don’t feel like thinking

Published by under Survey/Friday Five

I think I’m going to start doing these things. It’ll take the pressure off of me to find something to write about on Friday. You can find the questions at here.

1. What was the last TV show you watched?

I don’t remember. I don’t watch a lot of TV. I think the last show I watched was “My So-Called Life”, but maybe that doesn’t count because I watched it on DVD. I’ve been meaning to watch “Six Feet Under”, but I can never remember to turn on the TV in time. So instead, I read the episode recaps at Television Without Pity.

2. What was the last thing you complained about and what was the problem?

The last thing I complained about was feeling tired all the time. And the problem was that I felt tired all the time. What was the deeper problem? Probably that I wasn’t getting enough sleep. What was the REAL problem? I was staying up too late playing on my computer. Did I do anything about it? Of course not!

3. Who was the last person you complimented and what did you say?

Oh, I’m a horrible person. I don’t remember. I don’t hand out a lot of compliments. I think yesterday I told The Man that he looked cute right before we went to his dad’s house. Yeah, I think that was the last nice thing I said to anyone. God, I suck.

4. What was the last thing you threw away?

A non-winning instant lottery ticket. I hate instant lotto tickets. They taunt me with hope, and then I never win anything, not even the $2.00 it cost to buy the ticket.

5. What was the last website (besides this one) that you visited?

Where is Raed? I check in every day, but Salam Pax hasn’t updated since March 24.

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