Aug 27 2003
I will not be posting a freshly-taken pic courtesy of The World’s Worst Web Cam in this entry. Why? Well. . . because I’m sitting here with no makeup, in a wife-beater, too-short and too-small shorts, and I’ve just spent a good hour working up a sweat in the privacy of my own bathroom.
Whoa. It’s not what you think.
See, for the last few months or so, our shower has been a little. . . funky. Funky as in “Jas doesn’t like to clean the shower so oh to hell with it, it gets rinsed with soap and water every day, right?”. So. . . as apparently will happen when showers aren’t cleaned on a regular basis, all the caulk turned black with what I call Shower Rot but what is actually (probably) mildew. If you’re me, there’s only one response to this: “Ew, YUCK.” If you’re having a particularly nauseous day, it’s “*hork* that needs to be fixed.”
A few weeks back I proudly went to Lowe’s and picked up a nice tube of caulk that says it’s supposed to be used on showers and tubs. I brought it home, showed it to The Man, and he said “Oh, cool. Guess I can fix the shower now, huh?” You see how that statement would seem to indicate that the shower will be fixed NOW or sometime in the near future? Yeah, well, it’s a lie. The caulk has been sitting under our sink for about a month or so. Today I got tired of looking at Shower Rot and decided to do something about it:
Step One: Remove old caulking. Sounds easy. I can’t find the putty knife, so I guess a flathead screwdriver will work. Wow, this is hard. Wow, this is REALLY hard. God damn, there’s a lot of caulk here.
Step Two: Clean surface with mild detergent. Clean mildew with diluted bleach. Ugh, bleach. Guess I’d better put on some crappier clothes.(Enter wife-beater and horrible shorts)Yeah, these clothes fit the bill all right. I wonder how much bleach I should use. Oh well, I’ll just – GLUG GLUG GLUG WHOA that’s probably enough bleach! Wow, that stinks. . . . Hmmm. . . . I’m tired of scrubbing. I wonder if this is clean enough. Well, I can still see some Shower Rot, but I think it’s stuck to some leftover caulk.
Back to Step One: Yep, still a lot of caulk here. Wonder how I missed all this the first time?
Back to Step Two: Yep, this still smells very bad. And my skin is starting to crack open. That’s probably a sure sign that my bleach solution is too heavy on the bleach. Oh well I’ll live. . . I think. GOD DAMMIT that black stuff still is not coming off! To hell with it! It’s clean enough! It doesn’t have to be perfect.
Step Three: Allow to dry. That direction reads strangely similar to “Go smoke a cigarette and try to get your hands to stop bleeding.” I can’t argue with a tube of caulk, I guess. . . . . . Hmmm. . .still not dry. I wonder if this means “drip dry” or “towel dry”? I don’t want to be doing this all day.
That’s where I stopped. This is fast becoming The Worst Idea I’ve Had Lately.
Also I probably shouldn’t have chosen today for my adventure in caulking, because I didn’t get a lot of sleep and had an active morning. We had the two nieces last night, and Anna woke us up BRIGHT and EARLY with her small little ‘whine’ of “I wanna watch a movie. . . ” The kid is really cute, and whenever she has to ask for something (like a drink, or help going to the bathroom) her voice gets very soft and very high pitched. It actually makes it hard to understand her and I have to ask her to repeat herself several times. The rest of the morning was spent trying to herd two toddlers around our very small trailer. We put on a movie, threw some crayons at them, and just made sure they didn’t kill themselves or our cats.
Now I’m tired. And wrestling with caulk. Could life get more perfect?