Archive for October, 2004

Oct 20 2004

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Published by under Work

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Oct 20 2004

Wedding dreams vs. reality.

Published by under Wedding

This is a Fuel for Thought writing collab.

Like most little girls, I spent some time pretending to get married, planning my future wedding, imagining my future husband, deciding how many children I’d have (Four!  What was I thinking!), and generally just making decisions that I was certain would hold solid until the day of my wedding actually arrived.

Well, according to my digital countdown clock, there are 38 days remaining before I get married, and it amuses me to look back on what I planned when I was a little girl and the reality that I’m living in now.

Imagination:  My future husband will have black hair, green eyes, be six feet tall, work as a musician or writer, be college educated, and very nice.
Reality:  What’s the point of imagining your husband before you meet him?  I mean, if I had stuck to this blueprint, I would still be single, and I don’t think I would have even been in a serious relationship yet.  My future husband has dark brown hair (which is getting speckled with gray), brown eyes, is just my height (5’10″), works in telecommunications, is not college educated, and is very nice.  He is also extremely funny, patient, and kind.  He has a temper that is much better than my own, but like me, is subject to fits of the sulks.

Imagination:  I will wear a big, beautiful dress and a long, flowing veil.
Reality:  Wow, this one is actually happening.  My dress is beautiful, though simpler that what I used to imagine (remember, I grew up in the 80s), and my veil is fingertip-length, which is pretty long.

Imagination:  My grandfather will perform the ceremony and I will get married in the church that I’ve always attended in front of all of my family and friends.
Reality:  My grandfather wouldn’t perform my wedding if I asked him to.  He does not approve of premarital co-habitation, which I have been doing for years now.  I am getting married in a hotel, not in a church.  Neither The Man or I are very religious, although I would be willing to get married in a church because I do still believe some of the things I was raised to believe.  But, it’s easier this way.  Most of my family and friends will be present; some can’t come for one reason or another, and my maternal grandfather is dead.

Imagination: My dad will walk me down the aisle and give me away.
Reality:  My dad is walking me down the aisle, but he is not “giving me away”.  I’ve never liked that whole idea, so instead, part of the wedding ceremony is asking all of our parents to stand up and pledge their support to our marriage.  Much nicer, and more meaningful to current times than my dad ritually gifting me to someone.

Imagination:  I will have about nine bridesmaids, because I want all of my friends to stand up with me.
Reality:  I have four girls standing up with me.  One of them is my sister, one is my favorite cousin, and the other two are my closest friends.  I have more friends that I probably could have jammed in there, but as I got older, I started to think that huge wedding parties look ostentatious.

Imagination:  The reception will have a live band, dancing, lots of food, a huge cake, and will last all day and night.
Reality:  Wedding receptions were fun for me as a child because I got to stay up late and dance, and dress up, and see all sorts of people.  Now that I’m older, I would rather spend my wedding reception talking to the people to made the effort to come and see the wedding.  We are having a DJ to play some jazz background music, no dancing, no dinner, no cake (too expensive), and the reception will last for only a few hours.  The wedding starts at 7 PM and the reception begins immediately afterward and will conclude at midnight.

Imagination:  We will ride to the church in a stretch limo and drive around before the reception, partying.
Reality:  This is a pretty common practice, from what I understand.  But, since my reception is immediately following the wedding, and is in fact in the same room as where the ceremony will take place, this would be dumb.  We’re also not renting a limo because we need to be at the hotel a couple hours early to dress and get ready.

So how’s that for bringing things around 180 degrees?  Instead of a huge, religious, traditional ceremony, we’re having a semi-large, secular, eclectic ceremony.  But I’m much happier this way.  Little girls dream big dreams because when you’re a kid you want the princess wedding.  When you get older you realize that aside from the ‘princess’ wedding being expensive and a ton of work, the trappings don’t really matter.  The Man and I had originally planned to get married in Nassau, but my family started whining.  My sister had already cheated them out of the big wedding by going to St. Lucia and they weren’t going to let me do the same thing without a fight.  Lucky for them, I gave in pretty easily.  When it came down to it, I realized I really wanted everyone to be there with us while we got married.  I do want my wedding to be pretty, but more important to me is that everyone have a good time.  The divorce of my parents and The Man’s parents has complicated things, of course, but it’s easily worked around and with any luck, tensions can be kept relatively low.  I’m really looking forward to the wedding day itself, even with all of the craziness and last minute details that I’m sure will pop up.  I want to see how it all pulls together, but most of all I want it to be OVER *grin*.

Planning is fun, but I’m starting to get anxious for the payoff, here.

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Oct 19 2004

Girls’ night out.

Published by under Friends,Photos

I don’t have much to say today, but I do have a picture to share with you.  This is a picture of “girls night out”, or “Me with SpecialOp B and her mother, plus another girl who I believe might have been a cousin-in-law”.  You can see that I look wary/frightened/panicked and that’s because I just realized that I was going to Midland Street, where I had promised myself I would never set foot.  Also, my hair is looking kind of frayed.  I’m starting to wonder if I should chop a goodly amount off so that it doesn’t look so nasty.  By “a goodly amount” I mean two inches or thereabouts.  Nothing crazy.  I also realized that I have no clothing suitable for “girls night out”, since I’m a pretty conservative dresser.  Suited me fine; I was warm all night.

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Oct 18 2004


Published by under House Renovs

It’s getting unruly in our bedroom.

See, last month I decided that I would try to strip our dresser to make it fit in a little better with the decor of our room.  However, once I started getting the paint off, I realized that the only thing I could do with the dresser was paint it again – something I did not want.  So, the dresser has been in the garage for a month, waiting for something to be done with it, and in the meantime, my clothes are all over the floor of our bedroom.

Add to that little story the fact that The Man has never HAD a dresser, so his clothes are in laundry baskets and also all over the floor, and you can just imagine what we’re dealing with.

Oh, and did I mention that we don’t have any bookshelves in the house, so all of our (hundreds) of books are in boxes, also on the floor of our bedroom?

So tonight after work, The Man and I are going to look for some relatively cheap dressers, hopefully to get the clothing problem under control at least.  The books. . . I’m not sure what to do with the books.  The original plan was to put up shelves in our bedroom, but I’m not sure if that’s actually going to work after we get dressers and nightstands in there.  Maybe we’ll just have to make mini-shelves and stash books all over the house.  My idea is to tear out the wainscoting in the dining room and make built-in shelves in there.  We’ll see where we end up.

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Oct 15 2004

Runnin’ runnin’ and runnin’ runnin’.

Published by under Media,Photos,Work

I’m all over the place today.  Just a warning.


I have a little crush on that Black Eyed Peas song, but I’m wondering what it’s real name is.  I don’t listen to radio much, so I first heard the song on Noggin, in between episodes of Daria.  And the little Artist/Title/Album blurb listed the song name as “Let’s Get It Started”, which makes sense.  But today, I went to look up the album on VH-1′s web site and THEY list the song title as “Let’s Get Retarded”, which also makes sense if you listen to the lyrics.  And on the way to work this morning I heard the song on the radio twice (two different stations), and both times I’m pretty sure the DJ said “Let’s Get It Started”.  Maybe it’s one of those things where people are thinking, “Oh, ‘retarded’ is not a nice word.  We need to tone it down a bit.”  Hey yo, I appreciate the desire not to offend and all, but it’s very confusing.  It would be nice if something could have been tacked on to the changed up title so it was obvious:  “Let’s Get It Started: The Non-Mentally Challenged Mix”.

Meanwhile, I’m sitting on the other end wondering when it became desirable to “get retarded” and “get stupid” and all this other stuff that I’ve heard from Black Eyed Peas and Eminem lately.  “Go crazy” is another one. . . I remember that it used to be that when someone went crazy, they were locked away from society and no one really talked about them much anymore.  Likewise, if you were unfortunate enough to “get retarded” by eating paint chips or suffering extensive brain damage in an accident, there were certainly no happy, celebratory songs written about your misfortune.  But now we’re all expected to be crazy, retarded people like it’s a good thing.  What’s the next craze?  “Get homeless”?  “Get unemployed”?  “Let’s make like we’re all on crack!”

That’s a lot of pressure to put on someone.  It used to be if you wanted to be cool you had to wear certain clothes or listen to certain music.  Now you have to shatter your mental health and/or permanently lower your IQ by a large amount.  I guess if you go that route you’d better be committed (ha HA!) to your quest for popularity.


I’ve hated my cell phone for a long time now, but I believed that I was still under contract to Sprint, so I didn’t really do anything about it other than simmer.  But today I decided to check how long I have left on my contract and it turns out that my contract expired a year ago!  GAH!

So The Man and I shimmied over to one of the MANY Nextel dealers in our area and snagged me a new phone and a new service plan.  Or rather, we tried to.  See, back when we were really poor, we didn’t exactly pay our bills.  For awhile.  And my Nextel bill was one of those things that just didn’t get paid.  For awhile.  I mean, we paid it off eventually, but it took some time.  And now they have to do some super-duper credit check to determine if they will just let me have service again or if they want to charge me a $500.00 deposit.  $500.00!  That’s a lot of money for cell phone service.  Anyway, they are supposed to call me back within 24 – 72 hours and let me know my fate.

If Nextel doesn’t come through (because I’m not going to pay $500.00 for cell service, give me a break), I’m still going to get a new phone.  The problem is that I don’t know what to do with my old cell phone.  This is the third old cell phone I have (it joins a Nokia from the Verizon days and a hella clunky Motorola model from my first bout with Nextel) and I don’t know what to do with these phones.  Is there a cell phone recycling program?  Apparently I can donate my used phones to charity (cell phones for the retarded and crazy, perhaps?) but I have to admit that I don’t want to expend that amount of effort.  Can I just drop them off somewhere?  Can I take them to the cell phone pound?


I have this weekly conference call at work, and apart from me and two other people, every other member of the call is in California, so they all gather together in a big conference room out there and do the call that way.  I’m sure it works out okay for them, but I can’t understand most of what they’re saying because it’s all echoey and some of them don’t quite talk loud enough to be heard over the phone and sometimes they all “rabble rabble rabble” at the same time.  It’s kind of like being at a bar, listening to a loud rock band, and someone next to you hollers something, and you can’t understand them no matter how hard you try, so you just go “Yeah!” without knowing what it was you just agreed to.  Plus they ARE all from California, and not to perpetuate stereotypes, but they do seem to be very interested in having lots and lots of fun so many times the call degenerates into a bunch of inaudible (to me) jokes and “BWA HA HA”ing.  It’s frustrating because I can’t hear the work stuff but I also can’t hear the jokes so I’m missing out on both fronts.


I took in three rolls of film to get developed the other day, and I was very surprised to find that one of the rolls was several years old.  It must be from like 2001 because we are in the trailer and nothing’s been done to it – no painting or replacing of cabinet hardware or anything.  I also realized that I take way too many pictures of my cats.

Going to the Ren Fest.  You can tell it’s a long time ago, because I’m not wearing my gypsy outfit.

This picture is rare because I don’t think I’m smiling like an idiot.  Usually I either look way too happy or like I’m sulking.

The Man likes to go to the Ren Fest, too, but he hates getting his picture taken.  Grrrr. . .

Vicki saw this picture and said ‘Oh, he’s got a powder horn!’  She does French/Indian War reenactments – I had to remind her that this was the Renaissance and not a lot of people had powder horns.  That is a drinking horn.

Fate would like to eat your soul.  She’s sure it is delicious.

Every time I take a picture of Fate her eyes glow from the flash.  I just decided to admit that she probably is a demon.

Destiny would like you to know that you have interrupted her nap with your flashy device.

There aren’t too many action shots of Destiny because if she’s mobile, she’s getting pummeled by Fate.

A rare moment of peace.

The very sweet sight of my cats helping each other wash all too often degrades into a Battle Royale because someone decided to chomp on an ear.

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