Feb 25 2005
It’s 10:30, and I’m sitting at my bare freaking desk, working on the laptop which I have scoured of any personal files, looking at an empty Inbox.
This is weird.
Last time I left this company, it was under my own steam.Â I was leaving a job which had become intolerable because of many factors.Â I was kind of nervous, but not too bad.Â I was mostly excited.Â Little did I know that because of that decision, The Man and I would be living in poverty for a year.Â The plan we had to liquidate my stock options went out the window when our stock price crashed a few weeks after leaving my job.Â That left us with a substantial amount of debt.Â After a couple of years of hard work, we are almost debt-free, other than our house payment.Â I think that’s one of the reasons I’m so jittery now.Â I know, because I’ve been assured, that there is not a chance of us falling back into the money hole we were in years ago.Â We have no car payments, and very little credit card debt.Â All of our bills are current, and all of our past bills are paid and gone.Â It will be okay, financially.
I’ve been working this job for about seven years now.Â There are people here who have gotten on my last nerve, and people who I’ve come to respect and be friends with.Â I’ve really grown up with this company, and this is where I met my husband.Â It is hard to leave, but this time, I don’t have a choice.Â I’m being forced out because of a policy.Â Even though I know that it’s time to leave, because I really am not happy with this job anymore, it’s still stressful to leave one part of my life behind, knowing that the door has closed and I can never go back.
As if today wasn’t weird enough, what with me leaving my job, I’ve decided to get my hair cut off.Â It really has to be done.Â As I was growing my hair out, I did several stupid things which resulted in my hair being so damaged it’s not really salvageable at its current length.Â It’s broken and the ends are split not only at the bottom, but halfway up the length.Â It makes me sad, because I do love having long hair, but I also love having HEALTHY hair, and right now, it is not that.Â I really think it’s too long, anyway.Â It gets in my way sometimes, and if I don’t braid it back when I go to bed, I can’t fall asleep because it is all over the place.Â The only ways I can really put it up now is in a ponytail or a bun, and the bun takes roughly 8000 bobby pins to secure.Â This is what I keep telling myself, but the dorky part of me is going “MY HAIR!Â WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO TO MY HAIR?!”Â All I can say is that if it turns out badly, I’m probably going to end up crying and crying and crying.Â That should really make The Man happy.
My hair appointment is in 45 minutes.Â I’ll be leaving this company forever in roughly a half-hour.
This is weird.