Archive for 2006

Dec 04 2006

You lied to me, mother.

Published by under Holiday Magic,Introspection,The Fam

Did you believe in Santa Claus (or his cultural equivalent) when you were small? And if so, when did you stop believing? How did you find out it was just a story?

I believed in Santa, but I don’t remember my parents being particularly pushy about it. Some people’s folks really pushed the Santa thing, especially around the holidays, telling them things like “If you don’t behave, Santa might not bring you any presents.” I don’t remember my parents doing that. Of course, my childhood memories are full of holes, but I was a pretty sensitive kid, and I probably would remember being sad or afraid that Christmas was going to be canceled.

My sister used to help me write elaborate letters to Santa on Christmas Eve, and we left out cookies and stuff. My sister was probably too old to believe in Santa at that point (she’s six years older than I), but she was really good about taking dictation for my Santa letters when I was too young to write. She did the same thing for letters to the Easter Bunny. Yes, I left letters for the Easter Bunny, what of it?

I realized that Santa was only a story when I realized that he and my mom had the same handwriting. I was checking out the presents under the tree one year, trying to figure out what my parents had bought for me, and eerily, the ones labeled To: Jas From: Mom and Dad were written in the same handwriting as the ones labeled To: Jas From: Santa. Ergo, my parents were just labeling some of the presents they bought as being from Santa.

As I remember, I took the whole thing with a kind of blase attitude. I don’t remember asking my Mom about it, or getting all sad that it was just a story, or feeling betrayed by all the lies, or anything dramatic. I don’t know why the logic didn’t kick in sooner, or why it took such a Nancy Drew clue to make me figure it out – I mean, our Santa presents were under the tree before Christmas, so there’s one big clue right there. But, I also didn’t try to rationalize the existence of Santa by saying “Well, maybe Mom helps Santa by wrapping the presents” or even “Maybe Dad really is Santa Claus, and Mom is Mrs. Claus so she wraps the presents and that’s why they’re here so early.”

I don’t know how old I was when this happened. I’m guessing six or seven, but who knows? That’s probably the right age to stop believing anyway. I’m just glad some little snot-nosed playground punk didn’t tell me there was no Santa and then call me a baby for still believing it.

So, Santa was fun for me, while I believed the story, and I didn’t have an emotional end. How did it go for you?

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Dec 01 2006

Hi-ho Silver Bullet!

Published by under Friends,Photos

Oh by the way, I forgot to tell all of you that I finally got a car! The cops came to our house and told The Man that he was going to be charged with unlawful imprisonment unless he provided some way for me to escape the house during his business hours. So, rather than serve his time in the pokey, he ponied up and we bought a 2004 Pontiac Vibe. When talking on the phone to Mackers last night, she asked me to describe what it looked like and all I could come up with was “Chunky”. Then we got into a discussion about what I was going to name it. I offered up The Silver Nugget, but she’s holding out for Heigh-Ho Silver! What are your ideas?

My currently unnamed new car

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Dec 01 2006

Recently, I pooped.

Published by under Survey/Friday Five

The theme of this week’s Friday Five is “Recents”, and I imagine they chose that one because they couldn’t think of a real theme. I mean, what the hell is this? Random questions, galore! On with the show:

When did you most recently receive a massage?
I’ve never received a professional massage. The Man rubs my shoulders sometimes when I am all tensed up from lifting things, but it’s probably been a few months since that happened.

When did you most recently bleed?
I’m just going to step back and assume that there’s a part of this question that was left off, and that part is from an injury. Because otherwise you’re asking a bunch of women when they last got their periods, and who wants to hear that? Anyway, I don’t remember the last time I hurt myself enough to bleed. I’m actually looking at my hands for new scars, trying to jog my memory. I bet the last time I bled was the last time I shaved my legs, though. I never seem to get away without a nick or a cut. I’m pretty impatient when it comes to shaving.

When did you most recently have ice cream?
It’s been about a month. My new favorite ice cream is the Twix kind. Yum for cookie bits and caramel!

When did you most recently amaze yourself?
I don’t amaze myself a lot. Like, “Self, you are amazing.” Maybe that means I just have enough confidence to not be amazed when I pull something off.

When did you most recently turn on your vacuum cleaner?
I love how this is worded. Not “use your vacuum cleaner” or even “vacuum the floor”, but just “turn on your vacuum cleaner”. Are there people out there who just turn their vacuum cleaners on and off, on and off, over and over, marvelling at the technology of the vacuum cleaner? Hey, maybe there’s someone out there who turned on their vacuum cleaner and amazed themselves. “Self, this machine is amazing! It’s amazing that I can turn it on and off! I can control gravity! I amaze myself with my control over the universe!” Anyway, to answer the question, I vacuumed last week. It was, of course, amazing.

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Nov 27 2006


Published by under The Man

On this date in. . .

2006: Staying home, watching two strangers dismantle our windmill and cart it away. Waiting for my husband to come home so I can go into town and buy more cat food and perhaps look at a car I’d like to own. Listening to my iPod and thanking my stars that I don’t have to keep switching CDs out when I want to hear different music.
2005: Up north at Dr. Mom’s house, hanging out and staying warm. Probably eating more food than is good for me, and reading with a large dog or two curled up on my lap.
2004: Getting married to the best man in the world.

Happy anniversary, honey! After six years together, and two years of marriage, I still can’t believe how lucky I am to have found someone like you.

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Nov 26 2006

My halls are decked, yo. I put up the tree and the…

Published by under Holiday Magic

My halls are decked, yo.
I put up the tree and the exterior lights today. Also, the little bit of other decoration that goes on or around our house. Now all that’s left to do is finish shopping (get a hold of me, Julio!), and start the neverending task of wrapping presents.

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