Archive for May, 2006

May 30 2006

Also, Charlton Heston.

Published by under Media,Outdoors

My life for the past few days has consisted of sitting very still and trying hard not to spontaneously combust. It is hot up in here. 94 degrees in the month of May in Michigan for crying out loud.

I have also read Dan Brown’s Angels and Demons (hooray, a book about the Illuminati! And their fondness for crazy branding!) and The Red Tent, which was awfully good as well. Although it did make me ashamed that I’d been pronouncing Dinah as DIE-nuh and not DEE-nuh. Crazy ancient foreigners and their wacky pronunciations.

Speaking of Dan Brown, I’ve decided not to go see The DaVinci Code in theatres. I might catch it on HBO, if I ever find myself wanting to visit an alternate reality in which affable, goofy Tom Hanks is a serious, Harvard-educated symbologist. With really bad hair. And a very confused look on his face. As soon as the movie and its lead roles were announced a year ago, I wept for the horror of a totally miscast part. Tom HANKS? Really? Tom Hanks seems like such a cop-out choice to me. Like a bunch of producers and casting directors were sitting around a table at three AM, and finally someone threw up their hands and said “Let’s just see if Hanks is willing to do it.”

People I would rather have seen in that role (in no particular order):
Kelsey Grammar
Cary Elwes
Liam Neeson
Kevin Spacey
Godzilla

I mean, Tom Hanks. Get a little creative, casting people. Putting an “everyman” in the lead role is not going to make this movie any more lovable to the people who think it’s blasphemy because they haven’t learned how to separate fact and fiction.

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May 28 2006

Goodbye, Charlie.

Published by under Media,Snippets

Thank you, Sundry, for the link to this amazing, wonderful, cartoon.
Go to Candy Mountain.
We’re on a bridge now, Chaaarlieeee.
Shun the non-believer. Shuuuunnnn.

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May 23 2006

The Cleaners, the Bog of Stench. . .

Published by under Outdoors

I inadvertently chased a very small rabbit around my yard today with a lawnmower. I didn’t realize that it was a baby bunny until I cornered it by the air conditioning unit. Until then, I thought one of the local chipmunks was playing chicken with me (they are notoriously brave chipmunks). I had to turn the mower off and shoo the rabbit to a safer part of the yard. It didn’t seem to like me very much. Then again, it probably viewed me less as a girl mowing her lawn, and more like The Cleaners from Labyrinth.

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May 21 2006

My spellchecker says “habanero” should be “Phanerazoic”. Right.

Published by under The Fam

My sister and I went shopping at Great Lakes Crossing yesterday for dresses for our cousin’s upcoming wedding. J-bird (that’s my sister) didn’t find anything she wanted, but she did find a cute outfit to wear to work. I found a nice Little Black Dress to wear to the wedding. I didn’t really want a black dress, but everything that was a cool color was either an evening gown, a prom dress, or looked freaking hideous once I got it on.

I also got an awesome wrap sweater from Guess for eight bucks. Go, go clearance sales!

J-bird took me to World Market, which is a freaking cool store. The best part is the market, which they don’t have on their web site. I bought a couple of Milka bars, some Ghirardelli chocolate, two different kind of milk mixes, a “Dancing Bear” honey bear for The Man, some Kona coffee, and some habanero hot sauce for Dr. Mom and Moll. I could have spent so much more money, but I figured I could always come back later for different specialty foods.

We ate dinner at Joe’s Crab Shack, which I’d also never been to. That was such a good meal. Seafood gumbo to start with, then 1 1/4 pounds of snow crab legs, corn on the cob, and steamed potatoes. By the time we left, it was a quarter to nine, and we had a long drive ahead of us. And, since I was driving, and it was nighttime, of course it started to POUR DOWN RAIN. It was a pretty tense drive home.

Anyone care to tell my why Michigan can’t repaint the lines on the road every so often? It’s really hard to tell what lane you’re in when you’re on a four-lane freeway, and there are really no lines on the pavement to speak of. I just guessed. That worked pretty well until there were other cars around me. Then I just tried not to hit anyone.

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May 18 2006

Cue the cellos of sadness.

Published by under Introspection

Before anyone (else) freaks out, this entry is in no way related to the state of my marriage. My marriage is A-OK. Thanks.

One of my favorite quotes from My So-Called Life is: “This life has been a test. If this had been an actual life, you would have received actual instructions on where to go and what to do.”

Sometimes, when things are over, it’s hard to understand why. When you didn’t do anything wrong, that you know of. When there was no warning. Sometimes, I guess, you just have to accept that this is the way things are, and do your best to move on. That doesn’t make it any less hard. In a way, it makes it harder because there is no big, dramatic closure. There’s no blood, no tears, no fury, no anything. Just a quiet absence of something that used to be, and is no longer.

Maybe I’m feeling this way because I’ve had two beers, and only two beers, so I’m in that introspective, woe-is-me, “so here is the end of all things” kind of mood. Maybe I feel this way because I’ve had two beers and it’s allowed me to admit things to myself that I haven’t wanted to admit before.

On the other hand, I have a picture of purple proto-pinecones, to remind me that there is still something absurd in the world, to help fill the hole of the something-that-was that used to give me so much stupid happiness.

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