Archive for July, 2006

Jul 29 2006

Bye-bye

Published by under Snippets,The Man,Travel

The Man and I are heading out of town for a week or so, so I probably won’t be responding to e-mails until we’re back home. Try not to panic!

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Jul 27 2006

Like playing on a rigged quiz show.

Published by under Stupidity,The Man

I got an e-mail the other day from The Man, telling me that I had to call our car insurance company, because he had managed to lock himself out of our online account by failing the all-important Password Test too many times. The reason I had to call is because he was trying to pay my insurance bill (which is really for Chris’s car, which is one of the many reasons it’s fun to live in our house).

So, I call. I had a surprisingly short wait on hold, and then I started to talk to a girl who was VERY cheerful, and also sounded about 16 years old. She asked for my customer ID (huh? what?), and when I didn’t have it, my social security number. That was probably the LAST question I answered correctly, because the rest of the conversation went like this:

Her: And your name is…?

Me: Jas Marriedname.

Her: Umm. . . well. . . could there be any other name on the account?

Me: Maybe it’s under Jas Maidenname?

Her: Yep! OK, I need to ask you the security questions you chose when you signed up for online access, just to verify your identity and keep everything secure.

Me: Okie-dokie.

Her: What was your best friend’s name in high school?

Me: Vicki.

Her: What was the make and model of your first car?

Me: Umm. . . ah. . . an Oldsmobile Delta 88.

Her: What is your mother’s maiden name?

Me: Smythe.

Her: Oooo-kaaayyy. . . um, I need to ask you these questions again. [Here we repeat word for word the last six lines of dialogue] OK, you only got one of those answers right.

Me: Really? That’s weird. [Here I’m thinking: ‘How can I have possibly gotten two of those answers wrong? Yeah, I might not remember what I wrote for my first car, but could I really not remember Vicki’s name? Or my mom’s maiden name? What’s happening here?]

Her: I’m going to transfer you to someone who can help you further. [Hold music and then a new girl comes on the line]

New Girl: Hi, Jas. Can you give me your policy number?

Me: Sure. [rattles off policy number]

New Girl: And your e-mail address?

Me: It’s either going to be jasina@nospamplease.com or jasina@imeanitnospam.com

New Girl: Well, the second one you said had the right ending, but…

Me: Oh, come on! I know what’s going on now! My husband answered all these questions! No wonder I couldn’t get the security answers right! And he made me call, even though I probably sound like an identity thief now!

The only thing I still can’t figure out is how I got one out of three security questions right. Because our best friends in high school had totally different names, we drove totally different cars, and our mothers are not related. It’s not bad enough that he put all of his information on my account, but he also felt like mixing-and-matching just to be cool? What’s that about?

I mean, imagine how the customer service people must have felt. From their point of view, I couldn’t even get my name right. Quite a poorly-prepared scam artist.

In other news, I can’t send mail. At all. From either one of my SMTP servers. So, if you’ve sent me e-mail lately, and I’m not getting back to you, it’s not because you’re being shunned. It’s because the internet hates me.

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