The Jas Says. . .

Happy Valentine’s Day, kids! I went looking on Google Images to find a nice picture to post, something festive and pretty. I found this:
The caption was “How about Viagra for Valentine’s Day?” I say, WHY NOT? It is the gift that keeps on giving. How else can one month’s salary result in a priapism?

Chris and The Man often leave World of Warcraft open and on the character select screen when they’re not playing. This is fine, except they also leave their speakers on. The select screen in WoW goes back and forth between plain music and plain music + a rather strident wordless chanting. It sounds vaguely Latin, and very much like any chanting you hear in a horror movie about demons. If you were walking by our office and didn’t know any better, you might be expecting to run into both an old priest and a young priest holding their crucifixes and saying “The power of Christ compels you!”

Fortunately, our computers have not yet started to rotate and spew pea soup everywhere.

Behold! some questions that come from a Friday Fun site.

When you were growing up, were pets part of your family? If so, what kind?
Before my parents divorced, we lived on a farm, so there were all kinds of animals running around. The ones I didn’t consider pets were the poultry (chicken, ducks, geese, turkeys) and the pigs (because once they get big they can knock you down and eat you). But I was always out with our goats, and we had dogs and barn cats aplenty.

If you have a pet (or 2 or 3 or 4!), do you tend to spoil it (or them) rotten?
Yeah, pretty much. But whenever I buy them something fancy or special, they hate it. Cat beds, toys, food, whatever. They hate it. They want the cheap stuff. Plebeian cats.

What is your feeling on pets in clothes? Cute, practical, or too Paris Hilton for you?
The only pet I ever had that wore clothes was our miniature schnauzer, and he had to wear a sweater in the winter because he was small, and his haircut was so short. Otherwise, I don’t dress my animals. I think it’s funny when people do it for jokes, or Halloween or something, but as an everyday thing? No.

If you don’t have any, would you want one? And if so, what kind of pet?
I have two cats. That’s enough for now. I always think I would like another schnauzer, but I don’t really want to deal with walking a dog. I’ve tried fish; I killed them. I’ve tried a hamster; it bit me. Cats are pretty much it, I think.

Do you have any favorite pet, current or in the past?
Well, I really love my cats. They rule. My favorite pet from the past was the aforementioned schnauzer. He was really my mom’s dog, but he was such a good puppy. I still miss him.

I finally broke down and went to Med Express tonight, not because I was worried about the fact that I am still coughing and coughing about a month after I first got sick, but because of the new and exciting stabby pain in my ribs when I do cough. Or inhale. Or sit wrong. Stabby pains are never good, according to what I’ve read, so I figured I should see a doctor. And I don’t have a doctor. So, I went to the “urgent care” clinic, because dammit, stabby pains are URGENT.

Except, it turns out, not so much. The doctor kind of said “Oh, hurts right here?” and then checked for a bruise, after telling The Man “You know, gotta make sure you didn’t punch her or anything” (ha ha very funny, Chris Rock, MD.)

Diagnosis: Bronchitis. I am now on a course of antibiotics and have some codeine syrup which I was told would make me sleepy, but it has not. Darn. I kind of like the sleepy-time drugs.

If you feel very sorry for me, you can buy me the book that I want: Doc Holliday: A Family Portrait by Karen Holliday Tanner. Those dinks at Barnes and Noble didn’t have it. When I went to the information desk to ask, it was painfully obvious that the older gent behind the counter didn’t really know who John Henry “Doc” Holliday was. Because the keyword he typed in his program was “Dr. Holiday”. Oh yes. The new diet by Dr. Holiday, entitled “Lose Weight With Tuberculosis and Heavy Drinking”. Or, the new self-help guide “Learning To Love Yourself While Killing Others”, by the psychiatric phenomenon Dr. Holiday. Look for it on Oprah’s Book Club. Needless to say, the search term “Dr. Holiday” didn’t return any results. I had to repeat, “No, it’s just Doc Holliday, with two L’s” before we got any results. And they still didn’t have the book. Damnation.

I’m your huckleberry.

I’m still sick! I’m not going to talk about it much. I just want to mention that over the past week I have strained both sides of my rib cage with coughing, and just today, while enjoying another rousing coughing fit, I FELT and HEARD something snap in my ribs. I am destroying myself.

Anyway, Friday Five, from the LiveJournal community this time. The other site had questions too stupid to even read.

How far back can you trace your family tree?
Sadly, only to my great-grandparents. And even more sad, I don’t know all of their names. I’ve been slowly filling in the blanks. My great-grandparents did have some interesting first names, though. Crikey.

What is the most interesting (or strange) thing you’ve heard about one of your relatives?
I don’t know. I have a lot of craziness on one side of my family, and it’s not the fun kind of crazy. One thing I learned in the past couple years that I didn’t know before is that my maternal grandfather had no sense of smell. I think my grandma told me that he lost it after getting wounded in the war, but I could be confusing that with something else. Anyway, he was shot through the back of his neck on D-Day +6. My mom also told me that he had quite the temper, but I never saw it. He was always pretty mellow around me.

How do you feel about legacy names like John Henry Smith IV or naming children after other relatives?
Since I plan on naming any future daughter I have after my grandma, I feel pretty good about it. I don’t think people should feel compelled to carry on the name if they hate it, but there’s nothing wrong with it if you like the idea. The Man’s family (dad’s side) has a “legacy” name, but it’s used as a first name, middle name, whatever. The current bearers are his dad (middle name) and his nephew (first name). I don’t think my family really has any names carried down like that.

Would you consider yourself and/or your family to be traditional?
In most ways, yes.

What is one tradition you have passed on to your children and/or plan to pass on to them?
I hope to carry on the tradition of having great friends among your cousins, knowing and loving your grandparents, and feeling at home at any of your aunts/uncles houses. My extended family was always very welcoming, and The Man’s is the same. I want our kids to have that same safety net.