Archive for December, 2009

Dec 17 2009

Thank you, sir. May I have another?

Published by under Stupidity,Travel

Out of curiosity, I was just pricing flights to NYC, because “Love Never Dies” is coming to Broadway in 2010, and that is worth me going back to the Land of Stench and Overcrowding.  So, I hop on Orbitz and put in the mandatory “Leaving From” and “Arriving To” and the travel dates.  I get a bunch of results that pretty much all look the same – you know $250 RT, one stop, blah blah blah.  But then, I see a flight that costs $1147.  PER PERSON.  And, I think, “That must be just an AMAZING flight.  I mean, no way am I going to shell out a grand for airfare, but I have to know what wonders await on Delta Flight 4240, non-stop to New York City!”

So, I looked.

It turns out, $1147 will buy you one ECONOMY CLASS seat on a Boeing DC-9, leaving good ol’ Detroit, Michigan at the eminently reasonable hour of 9:40 PM.  Yes, dear friends, for slightly more than a thousand dollars, you too can fly coach and arrive at your destination just before midnight.  And, on your return voyage, you can look forward to more leg-cramping economy accomodations.  BUT – with a bonus layover in Milwaukee, Wisconsin to sweeten the deal.

Also, your trip will shuttle you between not one, not two, but THREE different airlines!  Yes, on your flight out you are going non-stop on Delta.  But on your return trip, you’re flying Midwest to Milwaukee, and then Northwest from Milwaukee to Detroit.  Now, I know that Delta and Northwest are technically the same thing now, and I’ve never really heard of Midwest, so for all I know they fall under the Delta banner as well.  But, you’d think for $1147 (I can’t get over that), they could at least keep you with the same BRAND the whole trip.

Anyway, I’m wondering who the people are who are going to go to Orbitz, check out all the nice $200 – $300 flights leaving at a normal time, and then veer right for the flight of the damned over there.  If you are one of these people, please leave your rationale in the comments.

EDIT: When I went back to double-check and make sure I hadn’t misread the price, and it was really $147, I noticed that the outbound information had changed.  IN TEN MINUTES.  Now, you fly out on Northwest instead of Delta, and there’s a new flight number.  I’m thinking something very sinister will happen to you if you take this flight.  They’re already laying a false trail.  Beware.  By the way, the price was correct.  $1147.   Bon voyage.

2 responses so far

Dec 03 2009

What if he had burped?

Published by under Snippets

I was in the store the other day, and overheard a conversation between two employees.  One had sneezed, and the other had said “Bless you”.

Blesser:  You know why we say that?

Sneezy:  Oh, no I don’t.

Blesser:  (authoritatively) It’s from the Bible.  Elijah had gone to this house where a woman’s son had died.  He went upstairs with the dead boy, and the mother stayed downstairs.  Elijah brought the boy back to life, and the boy sneezed.  His mother heard him sneeze, and that’s how she knew her son was alive.  That sneeze was a blessing to her, so now we say “Bless you” when someone sneezes.  Her son came alive again with a sneeze.

Sneezy:  (hesitantly) Oh, I….didn’t know that.

Blesser:  Yep.  Everything comes from the Bible, for whatever reason.

Now, there is a story in 1 Kings chapter 17 about Elijah bringing a woman’s son back to life, but there is NOTHING in it about the kid sneezing when he comes alive again, in any version that I can find.  KJV says he “revived”.  NIV says his “life returned to him”.  The Contemporary English version says he “started breathing again”.  I’m seeing nothing about a sneeze.  I don’t know where this lady got her information, but I’m of the strict belief that she is making stuff up.

5 responses so far

Dec 01 2009

Clock watching.

Published by under Health

I wouldn’t say I’m on a DIET, exactly, since I didn’t really eat a lot during the day before.  I think it’s more like an eating plan.  I’m trying to do that thing where you have small meals throughout the day in order to keep your metabolism running.  My metabolism doesn’t run, much like the rest of me.  My metabolism slogs along halfheartedly, and will eventually get to where it’s going, much more slowly than a normal person’s metabolism might get there.  So now, I’m eating small meals throughout the day.  The only problem with this arrangement is that it forces me to think about food and eating more or less constantly.  I feel like all day I’m watching the clock – “Should I eat now?  Is it time to eat yet?  When did I last eat?”  The unpleasant side effect of thinking about food all the time is that I feel hungry a lot more often, simply because I’m always wondering when I shall eat next.

This is my second day of this new plan (oh yes, day two and I’m already writing a complainy blog entry, this is going to end well), and my Wii Fit has told me I gained a pound.  Well, if THAT isn’t a kick in the pants, I don’t know what is.  If I keep going on at that rate for a week, I might just throw all this salad and 100 calorie pack stuff out the door and let the wildlife jump start THEIR metabolisms.

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