Aug 28 2013

Time runs forward.

Published by at 2:56 pm under Parenting,Photos,The Boy

It seems like 90% of the pictures I take these days are of Bash running away from me, and that’s not even a thinly veiled metaphor, that just IS the truth about childhood and parenting. He is running away from me, faster than I could have ever imagined.

I read a quote once that said “Motherhood: the years are short and the days are long”, and I’ve found that to be pretty true. To be honest, the day-to-day of raising an infant and toddler is not really that exhilirating. I read these message board posts and mommyblogs and whatevers where the moms sound like they are just wide-eyed with wonder over the amazing gift of preparing chicken nuggets for the 50th day in a row, and I wonder who these women are. I mean, yes, I enjoy the privilege of being able to stay at home and care for my son. I love that I don’t have to drop him off with someone else every day and then go to a job that I maybe don’t even like, just so I can help put food on the table. I know that I am incredibly fortunate that my family can afford for me to be at home with Bash. However, the mechanics of child-rearing are dull. My days are pretty routine, and I’m glad for that. I like predictability.

The downside is that predictibility lulls you into a sense of “everything is the same oh Lord we’re doing this again I can’t believe this is like the 800th time I’ve put this toy back together”. Then, sometimes you look up and realize that this person you’ve been with every single day for the past 540 days (give or take) can say “mailbox”. He knows where his nose is. And you realize that there were moments and milestones that you forgot to record, that you didn’t have time to write down, and now you’ll never remember exactly when it was that he first started saying “meow” whenever he saw a cat. Or exactly how funny he sounded when he said “Byyyeee” in his wistful little accent that is kind of North Dakota and kind of Cockney…where did he pick that up, anyway? And why does he say “Bye” to every single car that drives past?

He’s such a strange little boy, so funny and surprising, and if I don’t start writing down the things that make me laugh and give him a big kiss, I don’t think I’ll remember half of it. I have a bad memory anyway, and things are moving so fast.

I want to be able to look back at his childhood and be able to see at least some things clearly, and I’ll never do that if I don’t start recording. Hopefully, you’ll see more posts from me. I don’t even know if anyone is still looking at this blog. Probably not. But I am looking at it, and maybe one day he’ll be looking at it, too.


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