Oct 28 2004

Goodnight, Moon.

Published by at 1:33 am under Current Events,Rants,Work

I’m tired and I have a headache, possibly due to the fact that I am experiencing high exposure to the GOP.

HIYA, DUBYA!

President Bush seems to be in the vicinity of my town today.  You can just tell how excited I am, can’t you?  Honestly, I didn’t know he was going to be here, until The Man and I spotted some of those HUGE ASS Army helicopters (the kind that look like they hold tanks and have two big props) circling round and round.  Then he told me that Dubya was in town and I sighed.  Because I don’t like him. (George Bush, that is.  Not The Man.)

I was monitoring some of our agents’ phone calls today, and one of them asked a customer to repeat herself – then explained why he couldn’t hear her by saying “Sorry, we’ve got some Army helicopters circling our building.”  I had to laugh.  We are totally under surveillance, ma’am.  We are rogue tech support.  The CIA is closing in, so if you want help with your e-mail you’re going to have to step it up a bit.  I have to report to my gunport at 13:00.

The helicopters were circling for awhile, and I don’t know if they were admiring our stylish green metal roof, or debating whether the vacant land next to our building would be a good place to drop GOP propaganda.  Probably they were doing something really boring like securing the area and looking for possible “problem spots”, but my way is more fun.

GAY PEOPLE MAKE THE REDNECKS CRY

For those of you who don’t live in Michigan, Prop 2 on our ballot reads thusly: “The proposal would amend the state constitution to provide that ‘the union of one man and one woman in marriage shall be the only agreement recognized as a marriage or similar union for any purpose.’”  Needless to say, I’ll be voting no on this one, but I did see one yard sign that read “Vote YES on Prop 2!  Protect Marriage!”  and then I felt stupid because no one told me that marriage was an entity in need of protection.  I mean, there’s only 30 days until my wedding!  I haven’t even marriage-proofed my house yet!  I don’t know what my car’s safety rating is for marriage!  I don’t have marriage’s room ready, nor any items for taking care of marriage purchased!

I mean, let’s not be freaking retarded here.  Marriage doesn’t need protecting.  It’s a concept.  An idea.  At the most, a legal contract.  Just because two guys or two girls get married doesn’t mean that YOUR marriage automatically is for shit now.  I mean, they let child pornographers get married already, how come no one’s pitching a fit about that?  Child abusers get married.  Rapists get married.  How come those people can get married and marriage is still “protected”, but if two women who love each other and treat each other well want to get married, suddenly THE WHOLE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE IS THREATENED AND ANARCHY IS NOT FAR BEHIND.  As The Man pointed out, about half of marriages end in divorce anyway.  Doesn’t seem like us straight people are doing too good of a job protecting the sanctity of marriage.  But that’s okay.  It’s okay because that person has a penis, and that person has a vagina, so if they sign a legal document, suddenly they are entered into the Holy Shrine of Matrimony and a benevolent glow follows them, even if they beat their kids and rape the babysitter and shoot their sister-in-law and kill their spouses.  It’s still protected and holy and sacred because of the involvement of a man and a woman.

I know I’m not changing any minds here; most of you are already on my side, and those of you who aren’t have really stupid reasons like “The Bible says homosexuals are bad.”  Well, I hate to tell you this, but we don’t live in the United Theocracy of Jesus Christ and His Church on Earth, so what your religion says is true means complete dick to me.  I live in America, where people are supposed to be free to live their lives without undue involvement from other people or other religions that aren’t their own and that they don’t believe in.  OR, you have the other people who spit through their three teeth and say something brain-storming like “I dun like homersexuals.”  Well, good for you.  No one’s trying to get you to join the “homersexual” club.  As a matter of fact, I don’t think you have to worry much.  No one wants to be around you anyway.

How did I get on this subject?  I don’t know!  What’s my point?  Vote NO on Prop 2, or on the comparable proposal in your state!

DOUGHNUT HOLES MAKE JAS CRY

The Company Cheerleaders provided the fine autumnal treat of cider and doughnuts today, being that it’s nigh Halloween.  Foolishly, I expected to go into the break room and find normal, cinammon-sugar doughnuts, which everyone knows are the ONLY kind of doughnuts permissable with cider.  But alas, no one told the Cheerleaders, because we got three different kinds of doughnut holes, and nary a cinammon one to be seen.  Instead they were all glazed.  Glazed to the max.  Half the aforementioned hole consisted of it’s thick glazy coating.  TOO.  MUCH.  SUGAR.  I ate three and now I feel woozy.  And not in the good “drunk off hard cider way” but rather in the “sick from overly sweet doughnut holes way”.

OH NO, IS THE EARTH EATING THE MOON?

I kind of watched the lunar eclipse last night.  By “kind of”, I mean that I stared at the moon whenever I went out for a smoke break.  The first two times, the eclipse was not very far along.  Maybe one-quarter.  But the third time we were in totality and I COULD NOT FIND THE MOON.  Isn’t that scary?  The moon was gone!  I checked it’s last known location, and finally I saw a little glimmer.  The moon was playing peek-a-boo. After awhile, my eyes started to hurt, so I said “goodnight, moon” and went inside to watch some more Curb Appeal.

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