Tag Archive 'mackers'

Sep 25 2013

Curses, Foiled Again!

Published by under Friends,The Boy

Today, I drove two hours with The Boy in order to go to a huge sample sale that Macker’s company was throwing. We’re talking major deals, 7 hours only. I was so there. Mackers had sent me a map because the town she works in is a little on the dorkily-laid-out side, so once I got into town, I checked the map. Then I realized I have no “follow map” skills, so I punched in the name of her company to Google Maps and let the GPS guide me.

The GPS took me down a road to a building that had a tent set up in the parking lot. Big sale signs everywhere. Hey, I made it! I parked, got The Boy set up in his stroller with snacks, drink, and DVD (I don’t want to hear it) and we went into the sale, where the first thing I noticed is that the deals were not as great as Mackers had gotten for me in the past. This was my first time actually going to this sale. Usually, I give her a list and she does what she can (it’s samples remember, not a regular store sale), and she brings me awesome things and I give her small amounts of money. I was not finding those deals, and I wondered if those were employee-only deals that were only seen at the employee sale the day before. Nevertheless, I did some shopping and found two dresses and a shirt, and these things were marked down significantly, so I was not unhappy.

Pretty soon, Mackers texted me that she needed to run out to her car and could I meet her in the employee lot so we could chat for a few minutes and she could get a peek at The Boy? I was like, yeah! I just checked out, but I don’t know where the employee lot is. She asks, well, where are you right now?

Me: I’m in the lot across the street from the building.

Mackers:….There is no parking lot across the street from the building.

Me: Well, I’m standing in a parking lot, looking at a building, and the sign has all of your brands on it.

Mackers: And what is this building called?

Me: It’s called “City Brands Store”.

Mackers: Where ARE you? That is not my company’s headquarters.

Me: I don’t know! Google Maps took me here. I was kind of wondering where all the crowds were.

Mackers: I’m coming to get you; you’re downtown somewhere. How you got there I do not know. But I will bring you to where the rest of us are.

And she did. She came and led me across town to a much larger sale, and was like “Here, dumbass. Now you can shop.” And I was like “I really am a dumbass. Thank you.”

So, I parked again and got The Boy all situated AGAIN and we trundled to the very large tent sale that had blaring music and a lot of people. And we got to the entrance and the security guard said “You have to leave your stroller.” Uh, what? So he repeated “You have to leave your stroller” and he gestured to seven or eight other parked strollers. So, I got The Boy out of the stroller and said “Hey buddy, you want to walk for a bit?” And that’s when The Boy lost. his. mind. He was all done with this bullshit. Full on, screaming, hitting, no way no how am I going in that tent, you can just go to hell, put me back in the stroller with my snacks and my drink and my movie because I am OVER THIS MESS.

There was really nothing to be done, so I said “Ok, bud. No more shopping. I got the message. We’re going to Grandma’s.” Then I packed him up and we drove to my parent’s house, which was about 30 minutes away. No huge deals for me, but as I told Mackers, I’m counting this as the trial run. Next year I’ll know where the sale is, and I’ll know it is definitely not a kid friendly event.

And The Boy had a wonderful time at Grandma and Grandpa’s house, so his day turned around. All’s well that ends with a non-screaming baby.

 

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Nov 17 2010

Just in time for holiday shopping.

Published by under Friends,Snippets,Stupidity

From our IM chat today…

Mackers: I’m really trying to do a lot with these phots.

Mackers: Phots?

Me: PHOTS!

Mackers: Phot Bots!

Me: Now with laser action!

Me: It sounds like…some kind of building set.

Mackers: It does! Phots! It interconnects! It snaps together! And if you order now…

Me: You will also receive ZERM!

Mackers: That sounds wrong.

Me: Sounds like a cheap-ass scooter to me.

Mackers: Yes.

Me: We stuck a skate to a 2×4! It’s ZERM!

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Aug 24 2010

Danish Festival 2010

Published by under Friends,Stupidity,Work

So…Mackers and I went to Danish Festival this year. Not for the beer tents, or the aebleskivers, but because we had signed up and paid cash money to be vendors. Yes, it’s true, we paid money to sit under a canopy for eight hours a day and try to sell things to people who have no money. Because, did you know? People in Michigan are POOR.

All in all, it didn’t go too badly. We both made back what we paid for the booth, and then some. It just didn’t go as SUPER MEGA AWESOME as we wanted it to, and to be honest, I think we would have sold just as much at a small craft show. So, that’s what we’ve decided to do from now on: small craft shows where the booth fees are reasonable and we don’t have to bring a tent and sit outside.

One of the hazards of sitting outside is the weather. Sure, no one wants it to rain, but when it’s bright and sunny it’s really no picnic either. You have some shade while the sun is in the right position, but at some point in the day, you’re going to fry. We got lucky in that it didn’t really rain until the end of the last day, when we were packing up. And then it also didn’t rain. Or, I should say, it didn’t just rain. It downpoured. Torrentially. Luckily, we had all of the product in weatherproof plastic totes by the time the rain hit, but we still had to pack the truck in the downpour. All three of us (Princess Precocious, Macker’s daughter, was there to help) were soaked to the skin within 45 seconds.

We had too much stuff to make one trip back to Macker’s house, so it was decided that Princess P. and I would take one load, drop everything in the glassed-in front porch, and come back to take down the tent, load up the rest, and pick up Mackers. That plan should have gone off without a hitch, except that as I was getting out of the truck to help Princess P. unload, I locked the doors. With my purse and phone inside. And the truck was running.

I now had no phone. Princess P. had no phone. Mackers doesn’t have a land line in her house. I tried to jimmy the lock with a wire hanger, and though I could get through the window and TOUCH the lock button, there wasn’t enough leverage to push the button. After 20 minutes of trying, I sent Princess P. on her bike (it’s STILL downpouring at this point) to her friend’s to use her phone – to call Mackers and tell her what was going on, and have her call AAA. Ten minutes later, Princess P. pulls back in. Her friend was not home. The retired cop next door is not home. No one is home; they’re all at the beer tent or trying to buy a kringle before the kringle guy goes home. So, Princess P. volunteers to bike herself back uptown (in the driving rain) to update her mom. While she’s gone, I keep working at the lock, I guess hoping that some helpful leprechaun will materialize inside the truck and push the unlock button for me. Several sometimes later, Princess P. returns with the keys to her mom’s car. As soon as she pulls in the driveway, it stops raining. NICE TIMING, WEATHER.

We leave the locked truck running in the driveway and take off in Macker’s car to pick her up. We cram the last bit of stuff in the car, shove Princess P. in the back seat, and I drive back to the house while Mackers walks, for reasons best known to her. I volunteered to cram her into the car as well, but she said walking was a better option. I think she wanted the extra time to curse my name and my lack of brain. Not that I can blame her for that. She also promises to call AAA on the way back and send them over.

We get back to the house, and the truck is still in the driveway, running. No leprechaun. I go back to work on the lock, but after about five minutes, I hear someone holler “Hey, need help?” from across the street. I look up, and there’s a dude in a tow truck, who is coming over. He says, “Cord called and said his sister needed some help.” Cord is Macker’s brother, and as I found out later, called his buddy after AAA refused to deal with Mackers.

This friendly cuss had my door open in five minutes flat. “My hero!” I cheered. Pretty soon, Mackers came walking up, and seemed very happy that the door was open and I wouldn’t be sitting in her driveway for a few hours while we found someone to open the lock. However, at this point, I was ready to go back to my mom’s house and dry off. I was done with rain, being wet, stupid vehicles that don’t have leprechauns inside of them, and my own stupidity. I stayed to wrap up a few more details (like counting money and singing “Prince Ali Ababwa” to Princess P.) and then I went to mom’s, took a shower, and collapsed.

No more Danish Festival. Unless it’s for the beer tents.

 

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May 06 2010

Just the usual stuff.

My husband asked me today to set up a blog for him.  This might be a sign of the coming apocalypse.  I’m not sure.  I need more time to analyze this data.

Another sign of the apocalypse:  I’m really not feeling my own blog, lately.  Between Facebook and Twitter and my Droid, it seems like I do a lot of writing, and staying in touch, but when I look back over what I’ve actually DONE in a month, in terms of writing, it’s not much.  But what do I have to write about, really?  I have a pretty quiet life.

The one thing that is sort of not quiet right now is that Mackers and I are embarking on a new business venture.  I guess I should say we’re sticking our toes in the water of a new business venture, because we are Cautious Cathys (or at least I am).  She’s doing some perfumes, massage oils, and therapeutic balms and such, and I’m working on lotions and salts and lip balms and your basic “I feel pretty” things.  For now, the plan is to share booth space at several local craft shows and see what happens.  Our first show is coming up June 12 and I am a Nervous Nelly (see, personality crises abound!) because it is a New Thing and, as we all know, I am not big on New Things.  New Things give me stomach pain.

SPEAKING of stomach pain and new things, The Man and I were recently up north at Dr. Mom and Moll’s, and we discussed taking home Milo, a Corgi who belongs to one of their neighbors and who is a very sweet boy.  However, my Big Anxiety prevented this from happening, as I could not get over the utter nervousness of taking another dog home and having it not work out for various reasons.  I’ve been dog-burned.  Therefore, Milo remains with his owner, who is OK with that, and we remain dog-free.  This makes me a little sad, but it’s probably for the best right now.  Our cats are old and cranky, I’m a bundle of nerves, and introducing a new animal into that mix is….well, let’s just say The Man has only so much sanity to go around.

I’ve been working on the gardens lately.  I got some tiger lilies from my Grandma and some bluebells from Milo’s owner.  I moved some stuff out of the berm that was taking over (FYI: yarrow spreads like a mofo) and added some things to the butterfly garden, which I’m now calling the St. Francis garden, mostly because there is now a statue of St. Francis back there.  I call him Frankie-baby in my head, which is in NO WAY respectful, but I can’t seem to stop myself.

Also, this year is The Year of Seeing If We Can Get Edible Apples (doesn’t exactly roll off the tongue, does it?) and also The Year of Keeping The Stupid Birds From Eating My Berries.  There are now nets over the berry patch and we are spraying the apple tree for the first time ever.  Let’s see if that extensive pruning campaign paid off, shall we?

I’m looking forward to the summer,  but I know I’m getting old because it was JUST February like, yesterday.  Tomorrow it will be August.  Time flies, tempus fugit, whatever you want to say.  Sometimes I’m scared that I’ll wake up at 55 and think “What did I do with my life?” but, day-to-day, I’m happy.  I’m content.  I don’t really WANT to be out there, doing some exciting job, making the big bucks, or seeing the world.

Hey, this entry sure went all over, didn’t it?  I think this is what happens when I don’t write enough.  Verbal. Spewing.

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Mar 30 2010

Show someone how to use Google chat, and they’ll talk about poop.

Published by under Friends

From our conversation today over chat.  If you don’t like the word “shit”, you should probably not read this.

mackers: i watched a man walking three  dogs today, and as he  picked up one dog’s shit  in a plastic bag i thought  to myself, “that man must  be carrying around a lot of  shit.”

mackers: would that be a… load of shit?

me: Only if it’s actually loaded into something. If he hauled a shit wagon around, maybe.

mackers: well, he had a canvas lands’ end kinda bag…. which he put the plastic bag into.

me: And then he takes it home and puts it in his garden

me: Cut out the middle man, bro.

mackers: If he put the crap in cans, we could call him Shit Can Man!

me: Then he actually gets shitcanned, and everyone was like “We should have seen it coming”.

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