Tag Archive 'stress'

Nov 12 2008

Healthy stress.

Published by under Introspection,The Man,Work

Mackers and I spent some time on the phone last night talking about coping mechanisms and ways to deal with stress.  And I guess that topic was festering in my subconcious overnight, because I had a strange kind of dream about it, and today I was still brooding along in the back of my mind.  And then, when I was doing my hair a few minutes ago, I realized: I have probably lost almost all of my ability to cope with any kind of stress.

For the past couple of years, my life has been about as stress-free as it’s possible to get.  I don’t work, so I don’t have to deal with deadlines or annoying co-workers or demanding clients.  I don’t go to school, so I don’t have tests and papers looming over me.  I don’t really go out of my own social circle that much, so I don’t have to make small talk with strangers or be polite to people I don’t particularly care for.  I don’t have children, so there are no emergencies (small or large) to deal with on a daily basis.  My husband is a extremely even-tempered fellow, as is my roommate.  In my life, there is almost no confrontation.

However, The Man has, for the past couple of months, been mentioning off and on that I am more snappish than I used to be.  My temper is getting worse, according to him, and I get very angry over fairly trivial things.  I had thought that I was just moody for whatever reason, but now I wonder if it’s because I have no stress in my life, so even a minor inconvenience is treated as a major catastrophe.  It’s as though I can’t keep things in their proper perspective anymore.

I never really talked about this with anyone besides The Man and Mackers, but when we had the dog, that was about the worst time I’ve been through in a long time.  We not only sent her back because of her attacking the cats, but also because of my total inability to deal with the enormous stress level in the house.  At the end I was throwing up once or twice a day, and only eating a very little bit of food, because my stomach was constantly knotted.  Even after we took her back to her foster home, it took several days for me to totally stop being jumpy and get back to the way I had been.

. . .and then the cat got sick, and I really think that if I hadn’t just gone through all that with the dog, I would have handled it much worse than what I did.  Sure, I was upset and worried, but I managed not to fall to pieces and I made it through the initial two weeks without totally losing my shit (or vomiting).

I don’t want to come off as though I’m a time bomb waiting to erupt; like I said, my life is pretty stress-free, so even minor bumps are not daily things.  But it worries me that I might be getting to be someone who may not be able to deal with life.

That’s one of the reasons I think it’s a good thing that I’m starting to do transcription work for Dr. Mom and Moll.  I can get back into having a little bit of healthy stress in my life – something to allow me to use my organization skills, coping mechanisms, and all those skills that normal people who leave their yard every day develop just to get along in the world.  I don’t want to be any more of a misfit than I have to be.

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