Archive for the 'Wedding' Category

Nov 05 2004

No election, yes wedding.

Published by under Wedding

Let’s get the election rant off the main page, shall we?  I’m tired of looking at it.  Back to normal, I guess.

This weekend is my wedding shower!  I’m not quite sure about how everything is going to go, and I’m a little nervous about being the gracious hostess I know I have to be.  I have a tendency to let myself lapse into semi-snarky at any kind of gathering.  I believe most people call that “immaturity” or perhaps “bratiness”.  I can’t let myself do that on Sunday, because all these people are coming for me and bringing presents with them.  The least I can do is smile nice and behave myself.

The thing that really makes me nervous is that I’m going to have to introduce people to each other, and I don’t know most of The Man’s mother’s sisters by sight.  I know their NAMES, but I can’t put them with faces, especially since they all look like Dr. Mom to begin with.  I’ll probably just have to corner Dr. Mom and level with her: “Look, I TOTALLY cannot tell your sisters apart, so you have to help me out here.”  I’ve only met them a handful of times, and it’s not like we’ve had a lot of face time. . . a couple of Christmases and Lucky and Galleta’s wedding – that’s it.

Maybe I’ll give everyone name tags!
“Hello, my name is JANE DOE and I’m The Man’s aunt”
“Hello, my name is JAS and I’m the bride”
“Hello, my name is MOM and I’m trying to remember everyone’s name”
“Hello, my name is VICKI and I’m glad we’re not at Jacobson’s”

I have to ask, am I not supposed to be checking my wedding registry to see what people have already bought me?  If I’m not supposed to, I’ll try to stop, but I like seeing what people have chosen to buy.  I also don’t like suspense, so online registries are wonderful.

I’m trying to whup my skin and face into shape for the wedding.  I invested in some Aveeno lotion (LOVE IT) and I just ordered a lip exfoliant, lip moisture treatment, and a new lipstick from  Smashbox.  I need to get some more Biore pore strips and I need to do something about the skin around my fingernails – rough and yucky.

I also took my veil out of it’s box this morning and hung it in the bathroom to get the wrinkles steamed out.  I have no idea what I’m going to do for my dress.  I think I’ll probably end up buying a little personal steamer from Target or something and use it on the day of the wedding.  Speaking of the dress, I called the alteration lady yesterday to see if I could pick it up, and she told me she needed more time.  I granted her another week, but it had BETTER be done by then.  If it’s not, I’m going to commence freaking out, and I’ll probably go in there and demand to see my dress and verify that it still looks like the dress I dropped off.

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Nov 01 2004

I exhale smoke and say “Fuck it.”

Well, I don’t really know what to say about the topic behind the Big Locked Entry at this point – I guess I can say that I am very calm and my father is not, or that my dad threatened to take someone out to the woods on Thanksgiving Day and strangle the self-righteousness out of him, which totally made me laugh hysterically and then feel kind of crappy for laughing about it, but I’m still waiting for the fallout to arrive, if it ever does.  And in my family you can never tell, because we are German and we are Lutheran and we repress a lot of things.  I know this doesn’t make sense to most of you because you didn’t get to read the back story, but I guess we can leave it by sighing “The Show Must Go On”, or if you want to fit in with me and my dad you exhale your smoke (me) or spit your tobacco juice (him) and say “Fuck it”.  Which is what we’ve done, and hopefully everyone else will follow our example and not make a BFD over it, because if there’s one thing I don’t feel like doing it’s playing negotiator about something that ceased to piss me off approximately five minutes after I wrote the locked entry.

This weekend was spent puttering.  I puttered around with getting the second dresser and nightstand up into the bedroom and now The Man has a place to put his jeans and sweaters and the floor is much clearer than it used to be.  I also did some laundry.  Last night we went over to Michael’s because he lives right in the middle of a city and we live smack dab in the middle of BFE, so if we wanted to see anything Halloween-like we had to leave the country to do it.  So, we sat on his porch and drank and passed out candy and then later played Uno and Cranium.

Surprisingly, there were not as many trick-or-treaters as anticipated, so we started giving out handfuls of candy.  Although, the one big group of 15 put a nice dent in the supply, because both Michael and I grabbed a bowl of candy in a divide and conquer effort, but the kids sized us up and they hit both of us – after I’d put candy into a bag, the kid would sidle over to Michael and get candy from him too.  Hooligans.

Consequently I am freaking TIRED today because I didn’t get my requisite 15 hours of sleep last night.  I’m going to have to fight with myself to not take a nap when I get home, and I’m trying to decide if buying The Sims 2 will help in that effort or hinder it.  I think I will probably end up buying just because I’m out of books to read and if I watch TV I’ll lapse into a coma, so I guess computer games are all I have left.  And it’s always easy to talk The Man into stopping at Media Play after work.

My bridal shower is this weekend.  I don’t know what to say about that.  I’ve attended so many showers in the past that it’s going to be really weird being the “guest of honor” or whatever.  I don’t know how to be the bride.  It seems to involve a lot of smiling.  I guess I’d better start building up my endurance now.  Smiling is hard work.  I asked The Man if he wanted to come to the shower too (as some guys do now) and he gave me the “Bitch, you crazy?” look, so I knew the answer was no.

Speaking of the shower brings up the question of registries.  Now that we’re getting so close to the actual date I’ve started freaking out and thinking that the registries I built online are not accessible in the actual stores – that you can ONLY see them online.  Whether or not this is true I have no idea – the web sites themselves don’t address it.  I guess I could go into the stores and check, but that takes more ambition than I have.  Instead I will exhale my smoke and say “Fuck it.”  It’s my new catchphrase.

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Oct 29 2004

Protected: What fucking EVER.

Published by under The Fam,Wedding

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Oct 21 2004

Wedding flowers.

Published by under Wedding

I went to the florist yesterday for my consultation to decide which flowers everyone was going to carry/wear in the wedding.  Here’s what we decided on:

Bridal Bouquet
Cascade shape
Red Roses (Flower meaning: love)
Calla Lilies (flower meaning: beauty)
Pine boughs (meaning: hope)
Something else that sounds like “yuke”. . . not yucca.  Little green buds that I believe open into tiny white flowers.

Bridesmaids Bouquet
Arm bouquets (meaning they carry them over their arms, not that the bouquet is tied to their arm)
3 Calla Lilies
3 White Roses (flower meaning: innocence)
The “yuke” stuff
Silver ribbon

Groom’s Boutineer
Mini-calla lily
Red Rose
Pine sprig

Groomsmen’s/Father/Grandfather Boutineer
Mini-calla lily

Mother/Grandmother Corsage
White Mini-carnations (pure, deep love)

And because The Man didn’t know what a Calla lily was, here’s a picture:

I also rented an arch that I’m going to decorate with pine garland (fake) and the arch itself already has little lights on it.  I might buy some ivory tulle to put on there as well, and there are pot stands at the base – red poinsettias in there.  All in all, it’s coming together.  Now I have to get the ceremony/reception schedule together for the DJ and get the programs printed.

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Oct 20 2004

Wedding dreams vs. reality.

Published by under Wedding

This is a Fuel for Thought writing collab.

Like most little girls, I spent some time pretending to get married, planning my future wedding, imagining my future husband, deciding how many children I’d have (Four!  What was I thinking!), and generally just making decisions that I was certain would hold solid until the day of my wedding actually arrived.

Well, according to my digital countdown clock, there are 38 days remaining before I get married, and it amuses me to look back on what I planned when I was a little girl and the reality that I’m living in now.

Imagination:  My future husband will have black hair, green eyes, be six feet tall, work as a musician or writer, be college educated, and very nice.
Reality:  What’s the point of imagining your husband before you meet him?  I mean, if I had stuck to this blueprint, I would still be single, and I don’t think I would have even been in a serious relationship yet.  My future husband has dark brown hair (which is getting speckled with gray), brown eyes, is just my height (5’10″), works in telecommunications, is not college educated, and is very nice.  He is also extremely funny, patient, and kind.  He has a temper that is much better than my own, but like me, is subject to fits of the sulks.

Imagination:  I will wear a big, beautiful dress and a long, flowing veil.
Reality:  Wow, this one is actually happening.  My dress is beautiful, though simpler that what I used to imagine (remember, I grew up in the 80s), and my veil is fingertip-length, which is pretty long.

Imagination:  My grandfather will perform the ceremony and I will get married in the church that I’ve always attended in front of all of my family and friends.
Reality:  My grandfather wouldn’t perform my wedding if I asked him to.  He does not approve of premarital co-habitation, which I have been doing for years now.  I am getting married in a hotel, not in a church.  Neither The Man or I are very religious, although I would be willing to get married in a church because I do still believe some of the things I was raised to believe.  But, it’s easier this way.  Most of my family and friends will be present; some can’t come for one reason or another, and my maternal grandfather is dead.

Imagination: My dad will walk me down the aisle and give me away.
Reality:  My dad is walking me down the aisle, but he is not “giving me away”.  I’ve never liked that whole idea, so instead, part of the wedding ceremony is asking all of our parents to stand up and pledge their support to our marriage.  Much nicer, and more meaningful to current times than my dad ritually gifting me to someone.

Imagination:  I will have about nine bridesmaids, because I want all of my friends to stand up with me.
Reality:  I have four girls standing up with me.  One of them is my sister, one is my favorite cousin, and the other two are my closest friends.  I have more friends that I probably could have jammed in there, but as I got older, I started to think that huge wedding parties look ostentatious.

Imagination:  The reception will have a live band, dancing, lots of food, a huge cake, and will last all day and night.
Reality:  Wedding receptions were fun for me as a child because I got to stay up late and dance, and dress up, and see all sorts of people.  Now that I’m older, I would rather spend my wedding reception talking to the people to made the effort to come and see the wedding.  We are having a DJ to play some jazz background music, no dancing, no dinner, no cake (too expensive), and the reception will last for only a few hours.  The wedding starts at 7 PM and the reception begins immediately afterward and will conclude at midnight.

Imagination:  We will ride to the church in a stretch limo and drive around before the reception, partying.
Reality:  This is a pretty common practice, from what I understand.  But, since my reception is immediately following the wedding, and is in fact in the same room as where the ceremony will take place, this would be dumb.  We’re also not renting a limo because we need to be at the hotel a couple hours early to dress and get ready.

So how’s that for bringing things around 180 degrees?  Instead of a huge, religious, traditional ceremony, we’re having a semi-large, secular, eclectic ceremony.  But I’m much happier this way.  Little girls dream big dreams because when you’re a kid you want the princess wedding.  When you get older you realize that aside from the ‘princess’ wedding being expensive and a ton of work, the trappings don’t really matter.  The Man and I had originally planned to get married in Nassau, but my family started whining.  My sister had already cheated them out of the big wedding by going to St. Lucia and they weren’t going to let me do the same thing without a fight.  Lucky for them, I gave in pretty easily.  When it came down to it, I realized I really wanted everyone to be there with us while we got married.  I do want my wedding to be pretty, but more important to me is that everyone have a good time.  The divorce of my parents and The Man’s parents has complicated things, of course, but it’s easily worked around and with any luck, tensions can be kept relatively low.  I’m really looking forward to the wedding day itself, even with all of the craziness and last minute details that I’m sure will pop up.  I want to see how it all pulls together, but most of all I want it to be OVER *grin*.

Planning is fun, but I’m starting to get anxious for the payoff, here.

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