Archive for 2002

Dec 28 2002

Christmas and coffee

Published by under Friends,Holiday Magic,The Fam,The Man

So, happy holidays, everyone. Personally, I’m just so glad that I don’t have to worry about Christmas for another year. I’m also glad that my dad called and let me know that he received his DVD player, I was a bit worried about shipping it. Ms. Mac hasn’t made contact yet, so I need to call her tomorrow and make sure that her stuff actually arrived.

Christmas day was so exhausting that to think of it now makes me get that too-tired feeling in my stomach. I woke up at 6:30 AM so that we could get to The Man’s parents on time. . . only to discover that I awoke in the middle of a snowstorm. So, it took us an extra half-hour on the roads since they were not recently plowed. Stayed there until about 10:30, went home, watched an episode of “My So-Called Life” (got the whole series on DVD for Christmas), got in the shower, went to Grandma’s, ate, hung out til about 5 PM, went to my aunt’s house, hung out until about 7 PM, went home and collapsed. Sheesh.

Presents, presents, presents! I got two new rings, new earrings, two fairy statues, a framed fairy print, and little Indian-style jars from The Man. Got a whole lotta cool shit from Mom and Stepdad, including a fantabulous Carhartt coat, which is ultra-warm. Actually, all my presents were very nice. I’m so spoiled.

Well then, the B came home and so we went out for coffee earlier in the week and caught up for an hour or so, and then tonight met up for coffee again, only this time The Man and Carita were there too. Carita is home from Oregon for the holidays. Haven’t seen her in like 4 years, so it was very cool to catch up. I had so much fun hanging out with the B this week, but I noticed something curious about myself. Maybe it’s not just me, maybe it’s everyone. Here’s what I noticed: When I e-mail with someone for a few months or years, and don’t see them up close and in person, it’s really hard to make actual conversation with them when I finally do see them. It’s not like I’m uncomfortable, but it almost seems like all of the e-mailing was a dream, and we are complete strangers. I had that feeling for about the first 10 or 15 minutes I was with the B on Sunday night, and again with Carita tonight. However, by the end of our time together, it was almost like we had never been separated, except we all had different lives. Strange.

I miss Vicki. I have to call her. I must stop slacking. I haven’t talked to my best friend in like, a month.

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Dec 20 2002

It’s shaping up to be a bad day

I am way too sensitive today. Things I would usually laugh off or snort at are getting to me and really making me angry. Why should I care if some bitch I don’t even know sends an extremely minor slam my way in a message board? I shouldn’t care! It shouldn’t even make me mad! But today, it does. It actually enraged me, which just makes me more angry because that’s usually what board trolls are after. I hate giving in to people’s pathetic mind games.

This is actually a carry over from a shitty mood last night. Work was frustrating for me yesterday, and then when I got home, the little frustrations just continued. Normally, when I am Quite Myself, I just shrug it all off, but last night (and apparently today) that just wasn’t possible. Ms. Mac called me at around 10 PM and I was very distant to her. When I hung up I realized that I had just been a rude bitch, so this morning the first thing I did was e-mail an apology, which didn’t really make me feel any better about taking out a bad mood on one of my best friends.

She did say something to me on the phone last night which prompted an offline journal entry. At first, it hurt my feelings, but then after I talked to The Man about it, and lay in bed contemplating it, I realized that she really had a right to make that observation. What she said was that I choose not to go that deep anymore. . . meaning spiritually. Like I said, it hurt my feelings at first because I have always considered myself a spiritual person. But then, I thought about it. . . and on the surface I can see how I might come across that way. I used to be VERY vocal about my beliefs and experiences in the spiritual world, but Several Things happened quite close to one another to make me begin to internalize my spirituality. And now I tend to keep it all inside. Ms. Mac wasn’t around very much for the whole internalizing process, so to her, I can see how it may appear that I have chosen to delve less deeply into my personal faith. So I wrote up a version of my belief system, more for my benefit than anyone else’s, though I will share it with those who are closest to me and who I think can handle it.

As a side note on spirituality — I got a letter from my old church. They have finally gotten around to “removing me from membership”, which I believe is really a nice way of saying I’ve been excommunicated. I have to look up the actual definition and find out. I don’t care. I didn’t like that church, the pastor, or the people who attended. They were mostly hypocrites, just like me. The difference is that they were hypocrites with a holier-than-thou attitude. Fuck ‘em.

In 15 minutes I’m going shopping with my teammates for my boss’s Christmas present. Thank God I get to get out of the office for awhile.

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Dec 18 2002

Immersed in absolutely nothing

Published by under Computing,Holiday Magic,Work

I’m just going to ramble for awhile.

You ever have one of those days where you feel like you are just floating? Like you are suspended in time and nothing is happening around you or to you? That is what I feel like. I am sitting at my computer and I realize that I have zoned out for about 10 minutes. I lost 10 minutes in the middle of a work day. That is completely strange. To make it worse, one of my teammates walked by and is tried to joke with me, but he startled me so badly that I think I kind of snapped at him. Whoops! I didn’t mean to be a snotty bitch!

It is about 4:20 PM and I am wondering when I have to leave for home. Have got to get to UPS before they shut down and get those gifts shipped, since it didn’t get done on lunch hour. Speaking of lunch, I had rot-nasty Taco Bell for lunch and it was terrible (like you couldn’t tell from the adjectives, huh?).

I’m getting kind of stressed about Christmas and the house, which is falling apart now that I am playing DAoC again. I have been letting the housework slide and that’s not cool. I have three loads of laundry that needs to be put away and The Man needs to have some shirts ironed or else he won’t have anything to wear to work. I hate to clean. I hate to iron. But I hate living in filth worse. My mom hates to clean too; maybe it’s genetic. My mom tried to hire a housekeeper but the lady just broke a lot of stuff and banged up the woodwork in the house. Nice, huh? The housekeeper broke a blown glass horse that mom and stepdad brought back from Italy. She put the poor little broken horse on the table with a note — “Let me know how much it cost and I will pay for it” How do you pay for something like that? It’s not like they are ever going back to Italy.

So tonight, instead of doing what I want to do, which is sit and play games, I will fold and put away the laundry, iron The Man’s shirts, and make sure that the rest of the house is in passable condition. I will probably have to clean the damn bathroom too.

I checked my journal stats and I have 21 unique readers. Hell! Where did you people come from? I think I should stop looking at my stats. If I start to care about who is reading my journal, then I will start writing for other people. Maybe I should tape myself chanting “I do not care who reads my journal OM. . . I do not care who reads my journal OM. . . ” That would also be a good way to scare my co-workers. Just leave that tape playing all day.

The Sailor Scouts are staring at me from their home on my desk. They are saying “We save the galaxy and you slack off all day! Get back to work!” Well, they’re right, but they are also just PVC dolls, so who gives a shit what they think.

Well. I just got a funny meeting request. It’s for an “Emergency AC Meeting”. There is a meeting every week with my team plus the Knowledge Management team to talk about our online tools and how to make them better. Except that only 3/4 of the meeting is about that. The other part is a little BS session between all of us. And that’s the part that is an “AC Meeting”. I won’t tell you what “AC” stands for; it’s top secret.

Speaking of e-mail, I have got to get off my legacy mailing lists. I get e-mail every day that I just snort at and delete because the topic of the mailing list no longer ( or never did?) applies to me and I can’t really identify with those people anymore. I thought I had unsubbed from all of them, but apparently I missed one.

There is a lady here at work who I really can’t stand. I swear she is bipolar or multiple or something because she is just the biggest freezing ice queen bitch one day and the next she is all smiling like she got a fresh shipment of Prozac. I try to ignore her and count myself fortunate that our paths hardly ever cross. She came down on me and one of my teammates once for something so trivial and inconsequential that we just laughed at her. People like that make me want to roll my eyes. Most of the time I can wait until they can’t see me rolling my eyes, but it’s a struggle.

There is something I want to write about related to work, but I don’t feel like I can. As The Man is constantly reminding me, I am in a position of some consequence here, meaning that I hear secret stuff, and that if I voice an opinion on something then it can have a really bad effect on other people because they will think that since I think such-and-such is a crock of shit, then it must really BE a crock of shit. *sigh* The biggest problem I have with this is the job I’m doing right now isn’t really my job. I’m technically, REALLY a standard answer-the-phone technical support person like 90% of the people in this building. But I have been working “on loan” in the training department for the better part of a year. I don’t mind working here without being “officially” here for various reasons that I don’t want to talk about, but it does make me nervous to know that at any time I can be sent back to the phones. If that happened, I would probably go home and cry because I really, really hate taking phone calls. Does that make me pathetic? I can be a bit of a crybaby, you know.

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Dec 18 2002


Published by under Friends,Holiday Magic

Today is consisting of creating supplemental Job Aids for the Windows XP launch and e-mailing with Ms. Mac about horsies. Yes, horsies. There is a little story behind this:

She calls me last night and we are chatting on the phone, talking about this and that, and we get on the subject of those stealth porn sites. You know, you’re looking for something completely innocent, like drywall, and suddenly you’re at a porn site that not only is the most red-alarm porn you’ve ever seen, but also pops up 25 other windows of bad, nasty porn. So, we’re talking about that and then I bring up the nasty spams I’ve been getting. My favorite nasty spam has the subject line something like “Horny Sixteen Year Olds and Farm Animals”. Then she starts joking around that she’s not going to my web site again until I put a horsie picture online for her. Eventually, we say good night and hang up the phone. Today, I e-mail her for her address so I can ship her present out to her. She responds with the address, and a request: “Please just send me a horsie video for Christmas.”

That’s where it started. It kind of escalated from there. Quite amusing.

So, yep I’m shipping Dad’s gift and the gifts for Ms. Mac’s household out this afternoon/evening. Cutting it rather fine, I know, but hell I’m lazy and so is my fiance. We can’t be held accountable for our procrastination.

I don’t really feel very energetic today. Maybe I need to start taking a vitamin supplement. Like crack. I hear that’s kind of good for energy.

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Dec 17 2002

Christmas shopping status: complete

Published by under Holiday Magic

Hallelujah! The nightmare is over, Christmas shopping is for the most part finished. I do have to pick up a few small gifts for The Man’s stocking and I do have to get Vicki’s gift yet, but I will do all that today, and then joy of joys I will be done with shopping for Christmas. The presents are simply bursting out of the tree area, and it kind of makes me sad in a stupid way that as Christmas approaches we will be taking those gifts off to Various Locations and the pile under the tree will get smaller and smaller until there are no presents left there at all. *sniff*

My throat is all better, no more tumor or pulled muscle or whatever it was that was making me hurt so much. I’m very relieved, actually.

I have to ship my Dad’s present and Ms. Mac’s presents tomorrow. I hate sending things via the post, as there are too many unknown variables involved. However, I’m not positive I will see Ms. Mac and I know for a fact I won’t be seeing Dad, so I must ship.

The Peace Lily on my desk here at work is blooming again! It hasn’t bloomed for quite some time and now it has a wee flower coming out for Christmastime! How cute!

I have all next week off, which is a very good thing, since I have a lot to do:

Dec 23: Christmas with Mom and Stepdad’s family at their home. It is about a two hour drive there, assuming no bad roads or bad traffic (or car-deer accidents).

Dec 24: Christmas Eve at Grandma’s house. This is more of an evening event, with Various Relatives dropping in pre- or post-Mass. Many of my maternal relations are Catholic through marriage.

Dec 25: The Big One. Get up at the butt-crack of dawn to hike over to The Man’s parents house. We have to be there by 7 AM. Leave by about 9 AM to go back home and sit tiredly around the house before going to Grandma’s at around noon for dinner and festivities. At some point in the afternoon, leave to go to my aunt’s house for Christmas with Dad’s family (minus Dad, who lives in Florida). That night, maybe go back to The Man’s parents for playing board games.

And, The B will be home that week and I promised I’d get together with her, which I am looking forward to very much. Will also be cleaning up around the house, disposing of wrappings and finding new homes for presents.

Oh bother, I just remembered I have to go to PetSmart as well today and buy more cat food! They do go through it at an alarming rate.

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