Archive for February, 2004

Feb 24 2004

Good thing I’m moving.

Published by under Introspection,Moving/Real Estate

No, I’m still on a break.  Don’t get all excited, because you look weird when you drool.  This is just a short little entry because I happened to have an extra moment or two.

Anyway, I got to thinking about the fact that I’ll be moving soon.

I’ve pretty much always lived in small towns.  I think maybe I lived in a town that had 8000 people in it, but that was the biggest.  When you live in a small town, everyone knows who you are and they talk about your business a lot.  Sights like these are not very uncommon:

So, while I will miss my little hometown when we finally do move out, in many ways I won’t miss it at all.  I am leaving behind a whole lot of people who were not very nice to me once upon a time. . . and while they probably barely remember me, my hatred and bitterness will burn in my teeny tiny soul for years to come.  Because the whole “forgiveness” thing that got hammered into my head in parochial school did not take well.

Most of the time, I just don’t like people very much.  I’ll be polite to them, but I don’t like them.  It’s probably a good thing that I’m moving to the country, where I only have to worry about two or three neighbors.

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Feb 23 2004


Published by under Introspection

The following is a cut-up version of the e-mail I just sent Vicki, which will hopefully explain why I just haven’t updated a lot lately:

I’ve had days (weeks, months) like that.  It sucks.  It sucks because you feel like you should be able to handle all of this stuff and you can’t.  I’m kind of in the middle of that kind of month right now — what with school, and the new house, and now I’m back at work so I’m expected to. . . you know . . . work.  I’ve found myself thinking “Why did I take two classes this semester?”  Does that seem wrong to you?  Why can I not handle two classes, one of which is full of stuff that I should know?  I’m so worried that I’m going to bomb business law because I never really have the time to do my reading.  I took my first test last Wednesday and while I don’t think I failed I also don’t think I did very well.  Like I probably got a B-, which to me is not what I want.

I took a whole week off of work to work on the house and I shit you not, it’s like I got NOTHING done.  I just started priming the living room last night.  Why did I waste all that time off of work?  Was it wasted?  I don’t know.  I can’t tell.  Am I really an adult?  Doesn’t feel like it, except for all the stress.  I don’t like stress.

You know. . . I bet part of this whole thing is winter.  Winter is kicking our asses.  Damn winter.

So that’s the story.  I’m tired.  A little overwhelmed.  Sometimes I feel a little sad for no reason.  It’s just everything.  Nothing personal.  It’s not like I don’t want to write, it’s that I don’t have a lot of time right now.  I’m not giving up on my journal.  I’m taking a bit of a break, which will probably only last for a couple of weeks.

I’ll see you when I have more time to be me.

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Feb 19 2004

What’s been done.

Published by under Education,House Renovs

I’m not in the journal mood, but I feel like I should be keeping a record of what we’ve been doing to the house.  It just seems like we’ve been working for a long time and not that much has been accomplished.  Yes, I realize it hasn’t really been a long time.  Lessee. . . what’s been done so far:

  1. The barn wood in the dining room (and the barn wood cabinets in the kitchen) have been removed.  In the process, the barn wood beams across the dining room ceiling went away, leaving us with a ceiling that needs to be finished.  We’re trying to decide — dry wall ceiling or pine ceiling?  Will a pine ceiling be too much with a hardwood floor and the wainscoting?  Probably.
  2. Various types of insulation has started to be placed in various areas of the dining room.
  3. Drywall (sheetrock, whatever, call it what you will) has started to go up in the dining room.
  4. MOST of the wallpaper in the living room is gone.  There are a few stubborn pieces remaining.
  5. MOST of the wallpaper in the kitchen is gone.  The Man needs to move the fridge so I can get behind there to take off the rest.
  6. MOST of the stairway/upstairs hallway has been primed.  I say most because there are parts I just can’t reach.  Parts that are like 12 feet in the air.  It’s depressing, because if I could reach those parts, all the walls would already be primed and painted.
  7. We have bug-bombed the house three times and we still find live Japanese beetles/ladybugs/devil insects.  This is a really good lesson in not leaving a house vacant for months on end with a broken window.  Idiots.
  8. The cistern has been unhooked from the plumbing.  It still needs to be drained, but that will have to wait until spring.  And the eaves still need to not feed into the cistern, but that will have to wait until the big block of ice holding that setup in place melts.
  9. I bought a wall sconce to replace a totally hideous wall sconce.  But I haven’t put it up because that area still has wallpaper on it.

I think that’s it.  I’m sure The Man or D– or Chris will come a-howlin’ if I left something out.

In other, non-house-related news, I took my first test in Business Law last night.  I don’t think I did terrible, but I don’t think I did outstanding either.  The test consisted of 15 True/False questions, 15 fill-in-the-blank (and he didn’t provide a word list, which sucks because this test was over six chapters worth of terms), and four discussion questions.  Can anyone tell me how a T/F question could be worth two points?  It’s not like there’s a lot of give or take there.  You can’t “kind of” get it right.  Multiple choice is the same way.  I believe that one should only assign multiple point values to a question if parts of it are open for interpretation — discussion questions, or fill in the blank, sometimes.  But True/False?  No.  The very nature of the question means you either get it all the way right or all the way wrong.  Sheesh.

Today I have another test, this one in my computer class.  I hate this class.  It’s so stupid.  I hate it so much I can’t even bring myself to care if I don’t get everything right on the test, because I have been working with computers for years and never needed to know half of the stupid crap this book tries to teach you.  I can only imagine how the people who have never really dealt with a computer before must feel.  I mean, hello. . . a basic computer class really doesn’t need to deal with the hows and wherefores of how the damn thing works, to the point of talking about cylinders and clusters and how data gets written to a floppy disk.

Oh well.  I just need a B.  A B will allow me to get reimbursed for the class.
Speaking of class, I better go shower.  I have to get ready to go take a stupid test.

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Feb 14 2004

Day One.

Published by under House Renovs,Moving/Real Estate

Here are some things that I learned yesterday, or discovered about the new house:

1) I learned how to open and close dampers in heating ducts.
2) I learned that the toilet in the house can only flush five times in a row — then it needs a rest.
3) I learned that removing wallpaper is hard, and resolved never to use any wallpaper (other than perhaps a border) EVER.
4) I learned that the garage doors don’t lock.
5) I learned why the heat was not getting to Chris’s room, or me and The Man’s room — Chris found a big hole in the duct that leads to both.
6) I learned how to program a digital thermostat.

Yeah, that’s the short list.  Yesterday after closing, and after taking Iris out for lunch, we picked up some supplies and went to the house.  Work commenced immediately after I got all the “Before” pictures I wanted.  The barn wood wall is now dismantled.  The beams that were on the ceiling in the dining room are coming down.  The living room wallpaper is scored and ready to come off.

Hopefully today I’ll remember to take my first disposable camera to Meijers to get developed.  I want to put the house pictures up so you can see how it was when it started.

But I’d better go now.  The Man is already gone and Chris and I need to get going.

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Feb 13 2004

Closing Day.

It’s 9:17 AM, and we have to leave to go into town in a few minutes.  We’re closing on the house today, and before we go to the lawyer’s, we have to go to the bank and get a cashier’s check and then we need to get something to eat.

It’s also my twin step-sisters’ birthday today, which means that the two events will be intertwined in my mind until it no longer seems strange that I live in a house that was actually bought in part by me.

I’m nervous, for some reason.  All I have to do is sign a bunch of papers, but still that seems so intimidating.  I guess I’m nervous because buying a house is such a grown-up thing to do, and most of the time I feel like anything but a grown-up.  My mental image of myself is still me at age 17, which is pretty scary if you think about it.  But today I take a big step towards full-fledged adulthood.  Later this year I’ll take another one and get married.  After that, all that’s left is having a kid, and who knows when that will happen.  Man.  I’m an adult.  Freaky.

Have you ever been signing your name to something and suddenly you forget how to write your own name?  It’s weird.  That happens to me if I have to sign a lot of things, like I do today.  Eventually my name stops looking normal and becomes some unintelligible scribble.  Maybe I started out writing Jasina Starstormer, but by the time I sign the last paper, my name probably looks more like Jaf*smudge* Smarst*big line*

I gotta go.  The Man is starting to put his DVD away, which means he’s getting ready to go.

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