May 30 2006

Also, Charlton Heston.

Published by at 9:12 pm under Media,Outdoors

My life for the past few days has consisted of sitting very still and trying hard not to spontaneously combust. It is hot up in here. 94 degrees in the month of May in Michigan for crying out loud.

I have also read Dan Brown’s Angels and Demons (hooray, a book about the Illuminati! And their fondness for crazy branding!) and The Red Tent, which was awfully good as well. Although it did make me ashamed that I’d been pronouncing Dinah as DIE-nuh and not DEE-nuh. Crazy ancient foreigners and their wacky pronunciations.

Speaking of Dan Brown, I’ve decided not to go see The DaVinci Code in theatres. I might catch it on HBO, if I ever find myself wanting to visit an alternate reality in which affable, goofy Tom Hanks is a serious, Harvard-educated symbologist. With really bad hair. And a very confused look on his face. As soon as the movie and its lead roles were announced a year ago, I wept for the horror of a totally miscast part. Tom HANKS? Really? Tom Hanks seems like such a cop-out choice to me. Like a bunch of producers and casting directors were sitting around a table at three AM, and finally someone threw up their hands and said “Let’s just see if Hanks is willing to do it.”

People I would rather have seen in that role (in no particular order):
Kelsey Grammar
Cary Elwes
Liam Neeson
Kevin Spacey
Godzilla

I mean, Tom Hanks. Get a little creative, casting people. Putting an “everyman” in the lead role is not going to make this movie any more lovable to the people who think it’s blasphemy because they haven’t learned how to separate fact and fiction.

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